Path: daresbury!lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk!l.cranswick From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick) Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Request declaration of Defcon 3a on the Coke Machine (out of Fanta) Date: Sun, 14 Nov 1999 23:33:25 LOCAL Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, UK Lines: 44 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942622412 10315 148.79.160.252 (14 Nov 1999 23:33:32 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 14 Nov 1999 23:33:32 GMT X-Newsreader: Trumpet for Windows [Version 1.0 Rev B.7] Xref: daresbury dl.general:33 X-status: R I request confirmation for placing a DEFCON 3a status on the coke machine. (DEFCON 3a Defined as: "Machine IS out of Fanta": indicating Trend Of Forboding (TOF)) Going for alternatives such as the non-fizzy orange drink or milk is not possible due to the machine being "temporarily" out of order (for 24 hours) as revealed by the LED display. (the above is slightly inconsistent with the machine being filled up twice a day!) However, the milk machine being "temporarily" out of order could be due to its high intelligence in recognising that there is an out of date sandwich in the machine and thus is refusing to risk serving. ------ Diagnosis: On entry on correct amount of coinage, machine gives message via LED display "SOld Out" on attempted selection of Fanta. This is despite repeated pressing of the button just to make sure. Request for Immediate Confirm! If confirmed, key sequences can be initiated. Lachlan. ======================= Lachlan M. D. Cranswick Collaborative Computational Project No 14 (CCP14) for Single Crystal and Powder Diffraction Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, WA4 4AD U.K Tel: +44-1925-603703 Fax: +44-1925-603124 E-mail: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk Ext: 3703 Room C14 NEW CCP14 Web Domain (Under heavy construction): http://www.ccp14.ac.uk =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!not-for-mail From: "P.F. Schofield" Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: CONFIRM!!! Re: THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Request declaration of Defcon 3a on the Coke Machine (out of Fanta) Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 00:34:04 +0000 Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, U.K. Lines: 53 Message-ID: <382F54FC.A8C4273C@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942626044 11886 148.79.160.8 (15 Nov 1999 00:34:04 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 00:34:04 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (X11; I; SunOS 5.7 sun4m) Xref: daresbury dl.general:34 X-status: N Lachlan Cranswick wrote: > I request confirmation for placing a DEFCON 3a status on > the coke machine. > (DEFCON 3a Defined as: "Machine IS out of Fanta": > indicating Trend Of Forboding (TOF)) > > Going for alternatives such as the non-fizzy orange > drink or milk is not possible due to the machine being > "temporarily" out of order (for 24 hours) as revealed > by the LED display. > > (the above is slightly inconsistent with the machine being > filled up twice a day!) > > However, the milk machine being "temporarily" out of order > could be due to its high intelligence in recognising > that there is an out of date sandwich in the machine and > thus is refusing to risk serving. > > ------ > > Diagnosis: > On entry on correct amount of coinage, machine gives message > via LED display "SOld Out" on attempted selection of Fanta. > This is despite repeated pressing of the button just to > make sure. > > Request for Immediate Confirm! If confirmed, key sequences > can be initiated. > 00:20 The coke machine is still out of action (for those who wish to drink Fanta). The sandwich machine is still out of action for food (in-date and out-of-date) and also for drinks. With science being this hot, life here gets very thirsty. The non availability of Fanta or Milk is seriously preventing us pushing back those frontiers where no man has gone before. Also, the money we save by being repeatedly prevented decent liquid refreshment cannot even be spent upon those tastey looking Double Deckers! Surely it is time to send out the guy in the blue shirt? =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk!l.cranswick From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick) Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: FIRST KEY: Coke Machine DEFCON 3a Initiation Sequence Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:02:39 LOCAL Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, UK Lines: 46 Message-ID: References: <382F54FC.A8C4273C@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942627767 12502 148.79.160.252 (15 Nov 1999 01:02:47 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 01:02:47 GMT X-Newsreader: Trumpet for Windows [Version 1.0 Rev B.7] Xref: daresbury dl.general:35 X-status: N Re: Initiation sequence for Defcon 3a status on Coke Machine (Coke Machine out of Fanta) 01:01 am, 15th November 1999 Key "1" Inserted and rotated to "INITIATE DEFCON 3a" Position. Waiting for second key (Warning!: DLCMOS (Daresbury Laboratory Coke Machine Of Shame) DEFCON initiation system will reset if sequence not complete in 2 hours) P.F. Schofield wrote: >Lachlan Cranswick wrote: >> I request confirmation for placing a DEFCON 3a status on >> the coke machine. >> (DEFCON 3a Defined as: "Machine IS out of Fanta": >> indicating Trend Of Forboding (TOF)) >> >The coke machine is still out of action (for those who wish to drink >Fanta). >The sandwich machine is still out of action for food (in-date and >out-of-date) and also for drinks. >With science being this hot, life here gets very thirsty. The non >availability of Fanta or Milk is seriously preventing us pushing >back those frontiers where no man has gone before. >Also, the money we save by being repeatedly prevented decent liquid >refreshment cannot even be spent upon those tastey looking Double >Deckers! >Surely it is time to send out the guy in the blue shirt? ======================= Lachlan M. D. Cranswick Collaborative Computational Project No 14 (CCP14) for Single Crystal and Powder Diffraction Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, WA4 4AD U.K Tel: +44-1925-603703 Fax: +44-1925-603124 E-mail: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk Ext: 3703 Room C14 NEW CCP14 Web Domain (Under heavy construction): http://www.ccp14.ac.uk =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!not-for-mail From: fred Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: Re: FIRST KEY: Coke Machine DEFCON 3a Initiation Sequence Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:15:39 +0000 Organization: clcr dl Lines: 1 Message-ID: <382F5EBB.D8DD74D0@dl.ac.uk> References: <382F54FC.A8C4273C@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: xrsws3.dl.ac.uk Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942628539 12972 148.79.160.124 (15 Nov 1999 01:15:39 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 01:15:39 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (X11; I; SunOS 5.7 sun4u) Xref: daresbury dl.general:36 X-status: N is not washington more important =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!not-for-mail From: "P.F. Schofield" Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: SECOND KEY Re: FIRST KEY: Coke Machine DEFCON 3a Initiation Sequence Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:18:56 +0000 Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, U.K. Lines: 57 Message-ID: <382F5F80.75C41CA@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> References: <382F54FC.A8C4273C@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942628737 12967 148.79.160.8 (15 Nov 1999 01:18:57 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 01:18:57 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (X11; I; SunOS 5.7 sun4m) Xref: daresbury dl.general:37 X-status: N Initiation sequence for Defcon 3a status on Coke Machine (Coke Machine out of Fanta) Key 1 turned. Fanta remains in an unavailable state. initiation of SECOND key turning in progress. Clockwise rotation. Numerical code required. numerical code accepted. The coke machine is ripe for destruction. Let the shaming begin! =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!not-for-mail From: "P.F. Schofield" Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: Re: FIRST KEY: Coke Machine DEFCON 3a Initiation Sequence Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:22:12 +0000 Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, U.K. Lines: 7 Message-ID: <382F6044.5595A30@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> References: <382F54FC.A8C4273C@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> <382F5EBB.D8DD74D0@dl.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942628932 13201 148.79.160.8 (15 Nov 1999 01:22:12 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 01:22:12 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (X11; I; SunOS 5.7 sun4m) Xref: daresbury dl.general:38 X-status: N fred wrote: > is not washington more important I fear Washington is no more. He is a goner. =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk!l.cranswick From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick) Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: KEY SEQUENCE SUCCESSFUL: Re: SECOND KEY Re: FIRST KEY: Coke Machine DEFCON 3a Initiation Sequence Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:31:21 LOCAL Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, UK Lines: 60 Message-ID: References: <382F54FC.A8C4273C@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> <382F5F80.75C41CA@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942629489 13964 148.79.160.252 (15 Nov 1999 01:31:29 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 01:31:29 GMT X-Newsreader: Trumpet for Windows [Version 1.0 Rev B.7] Xref: daresbury dl.general:39 X-status: N Present time: 1:31am. Initiation procedure within time. Message passed onto DLCMOS Central Command, automatic reponse should be forthcoming. >From: "P.F. Schofield" >Initiation sequence for Defcon 3a status on Coke Machine (Coke Machine out >of Fanta) >Key 1 turned. >Fanta remains in an unavailable state. >initiation of SECOND key turning in progress. Clockwise rotation. Numerical >code >required. >numerical code accepted. The coke machine is ripe for destruction. >Let the shaming begin! >Lachlan Cranswick wrote: >> Re: Initiation sequence for Defcon 3a status on Coke Machine >> (Coke Machine out of Fanta) >> >> 01:01 am, 15th November 1999 >> Key "1" Inserted and rotated to "INITIATE DEFCON 3a" Position. >> >> Waiting for second key >> (Warning!: DLCMOS (Daresbury Laboratory Coke Machine Of Shame) >> DEFCON initiation system will reset if sequence not complete in 2 hours) >> >> P.F. Schofield wrote: >> >Lachlan Cranswick wrote: >> >> I request confirmation for placing a DEFCON 3a status on >> >> the coke machine. >> >> (DEFCON 3a Defined as: "Machine IS out of Fanta": >> >> indicating Trend Of Forboding (TOF)) >> >> >> >The coke machine is still out of action (for those who wish to drink >> >Fanta). >> >The sandwich machine is still out of action for food (in-date and >> >out-of-date) and also for drinks. >> >With science being this hot, life here gets very thirsty. The non >> >availability of Fanta or Milk is seriously preventing us pushing >> >back those frontiers where no man has gone before. >> >> >Also, the money we save by being repeatedly prevented decent liquid >> >refreshment cannot even be spent upon those tastey looking Double >> >Deckers! >> >> >Surely it is time to send out the guy in the blue shirt? >> =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk!l.cranswick From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (DLCMOS Central Command) Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: OFFICIAL ALERT from DLCOMS: Coke Machine at DEFCON 3a - Out of Fanta! Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:32:43 LOCAL Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, UK Lines: 15 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942629572 14017 148.79.160.252 (15 Nov 1999 01:32:52 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 01:32:52 GMT X-Newsreader: Trumpet for Windows [Version 1.0 Rev B.7] Xref: daresbury dl.general:40 X-status: N ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! FROM: ALERT! ALERT! DLCMOS (Daresbury Laboratory Coke Machine of Shame) ALERT! ALERT! Central Command ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! At 1:31pm 15th Nov 1999, Successful key sequence initiation ALERT! ALERT! lead to declaration of DEFCON 3a on the Coke Machine. ALERT! ALERT! No Fanta Available. ALERT! ALERT! Remaining Coca Cola stocks must be considered at risk! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT! =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk!l.cranswick From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick) Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: Re: FIRST KEY: Coke Machine DEFCON 3a Initiation Sequence Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:38:48 LOCAL Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, UK Lines: 21 Message-ID: References: <382F54FC.A8C4273C@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> <382F5EBB.D8DD74D0@dl.ac.uk> NNTP-Posting-Host: lzcpc1.dl.ac.uk X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942629937 14158 148.79.160.252 (15 Nov 1999 01:38:57 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 01:38:57 GMT X-Newsreader: Trumpet for Windows [Version 1.0 Rev B.7] Xref: daresbury dl.general:41 X-status: N >From: fred >Newsgroups: dl.general >Subject: Re: FIRST KEY: Coke Machine DEFCON 3a Initiation Sequence >Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:15:39 +0000 >is not washington more important If you are refering to DC (Diet Coke): For the machine to only have Diet Coke available, this would be a DEFCON 0 (it doesn't get any worse than this!). US Strategic Command can only do a DEFCON 1. It isn't known what happens after a declaration of DEFCON 0, (just as the US Strategic Command does not know what really happens after a DEFCON 1). It is not impossible that a nuclear weapon is launched from a Trident submarine vapourizing the entire coke machine area. =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!not-for-mail From: "P.F. Schofield" Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: URGENT REQUEST OF DLCOMS Date: Mon, 15 Nov 1999 01:50:55 +0000 Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, U.K. Lines: 39 Message-ID: <382F66FF.99CD7344@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942630655 14274 148.79.160.8 (15 Nov 1999 01:50:55 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 15 Nov 1999 01:50:55 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (X11; I; SunOS 5.7 sun4m) Xref: daresbury dl.general:42 X-status: N Urgent request for DLCMOS Central Command Safe Haven key code entered correctly. Entrance remains firmly shut. more information needed DLCMOS Central Command wrote: >ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT! >ALERT! ALERT! >ALERT! FROM: ALERT! >ALERT! DLCMOS (Daresbury Laboratory Coke Machine of Shame) ALERT! >ALERT! Central Command ALERT! >ALERT! ALERT! >ALERT! At 1:31pm 15th Nov 1999, Successful key sequence initiation ALERT! >ALERT! lead to declaration of DEFCON 3a on the Coke Machine. ALERT! >ALERT! No Fanta Available. ALERT! >ALERT! Remaining Coca Cola stocks must be considered at risk! ALERT! >ALERT! ALERT! >ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT! =========================================================================== =========================================================================== Path: daresbury!not-for-mail From: Stephen Hill Newsgroups: dl.general Subject: Re: OFFICIAL ALERT from DLCOMS: Coke Machine at DEFCON 3a - Out of Fanta! Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1999 01:25:21 +0000 Organization: CLRC Daresbury Laboratory Lines: 31 Message-ID: <3830B281.773F2178@dl.ac.uk> References: NNTP-Posting-Host: mcrpc9.dl.ac.uk Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Trace: mserv2.dl.ac.uk 942715521 187 148.79.176.18 (16 Nov 1999 01:25:21 GMT) X-Complaints-To: newsmaster@dl.ac.uk NNTP-Posting-Date: 16 Nov 1999 01:25:21 GMT X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.51 [en] (WinNT; I) X-Accept-Language: en Xref: daresbury dl.general:43 X-status: N DLCMOS Central Command wrote: > > ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT! > ALERT! ALERT! > ALERT! FROM: ALERT! > ALERT! DLCMOS (Daresbury Laboratory Coke Machine of Shame) ALERT! > ALERT! Central Command ALERT! > ALERT! ALERT! > ALERT! At 1:31pm 15th Nov 1999, Successful key sequence initiation ALERT! > ALERT! lead to declaration of DEFCON 3a on the Coke Machine. ALERT! > ALERT! No Fanta Available. ALERT! > ALERT! Remaining Coca Cola stocks must be considered at risk! ALERT! > ALERT! ALERT! > ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT!ALERT! Nah! This is only a test run. We're just about to go into Machine Physics then Single Bunch - that has been the cue for _all_ stocks to run out/be unavailable since time immemorial (sp?) - Aramark are just checking that maximum hassle is available at the required time. Stephen -- ------------------------------------------------------- s.f.hill@dl.ac.uk G6FPX CLRC Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, Cheshire, UK "A Sturdy Fellow"