Friday, March 4th 2005 note received from the author - Re lack of
nano-tech simulation images in version 1 of this document:
"As the images are being laid down atom-by-atom,
the full Nanolithographical Nanotoolbox renderings
are currently not completed. It is predicted that by another two beers
significant progress on these images could be made."
Sunday, March 6th 2005: press release is released. (2 beers later?)
Monday, March 28th 2005: a frantic message received from The Reverend Professor P. Dolding-Beadle
Subject: nanolithographical breakthrough
Rev. Prof.. P. Dolding-Beedle, Egregious Professor of Divinity, and Chair of the Advanced Research Centre for BioNanotechnology, Nanoethics, Nanoenvironment and Nanorobotics at El Dorado State University, announced today the culmination of nanoresearch from his most recent $50 million grant from the U.S. Government. This grant was split into the development of an entire advanced nanoimaging toolbox for nanolithography, and the application of those tools in nanoresearch of nanorobotics.
$25 million was invested in the development of a graphite-tipped nanolithography tool. Graphite is formed from the same atoms that classical diamondoid nanobots self-assemble from. However, Prof. Dolding-Beedle's team have shown that its physical properties are utterly unlike diamondoid. "It is incredibly soft, and this reflects its subnanostructure. This property of this new nanocarbon material could make it even more important than those classical allotropes of carbon, the buckyball and buckytube, for which a serious use has yet to be found despite hundreds of millions of dollars of research money," said Dolding-Beedle. "However, these properties are well beyond the comprehension of high school chemistry and physics students."
With this graphite-tipped nanolithography tool, some call a nanopen, an image can be transferred on to a surface, atom-by-atom from the graphene sheets in the nanopen. The device is functionalized by co-extruding this advanced nanomaterial inside a piece of wood, making this yet another example of a useful bionanotechnology. The environmental benefits of the use of this renewable resource are obvious, said Prof. Dolding-Beedle.
Tip of the Nanopen: centrepiece of the Nanotoolbox for Nanolithography, showing the advanced graphene-based image deposition system, capable of laying down images atom-by-atom onto a surface. The tip is co-extruded in wood. Above the nanopen lies the completely biodegradable residue after the tip has been restored by the nanohoner.
Not content with this leap forward in nanotechnology, Dolding-Beedle's team have developed an entire nanotoolbox for nanoimaging. The main limitation is that the atomically sharp tip can become bluntened by abrasion as the atoms are slowly removed from the tip by nanotribological action. A nanohoner has been developed to restore the tip, and a nanoimage-eradicator, called the nanoexpunger, is used to remove the nanolithography atom-by-atom off the rendering surface.
Results of a $25m investment proudly presented by Dolding-Beedle: The Nanolithographical Nanotoolbox developed in the laboratories of El Dorado State University. Left: the Nanohoner for restoring the tip of the nanopen to atomic precision. Right: The Nanoexpunger, capable of removing the nanolithographical traces atom-by-atom.
"There has been a backlash developing against nanotechnology, partly from environmentalists and ethicists concerned about risks from nanotech. More worryingly, a groundswell of people are saying that nanotech is just a lot of hype, and a way of gouging staggering amounts of tax-payers money from governments around the world who are all investing in it solely because everybody else is. They claim there is nothing new to nanotech. This is nonsense. We are developing transformative new technologies, for comparatively little investment", said Dolding-Beedle.
A Nanoscissors Nanorobot can readily enter the human body. It is equipped with terrifying nanoblades, coated with diamondoid nanofilm capable of reducing human tissue to a dripping, bloody nanopulp in mere seconds. These diamondoid blades can flip viciously between binary states, technically termed "open" and "closed" by the nanoresearchers at El Dorado, by triggering a nanoshape memory nanomartensitic phase transition, which occurs at the speed of sound. Nanoscissors can self-assemble at phenomenal speed - a grown man can be nanohamburger in just a few minutes.
To combat this terrifying reality, Dolding-Beedles's team have simulated two additional nanorobotic entitities, forming a key part of President Bush's Freedombot Initiative. The team was eligible for priority funding from this as a Faith-based group, Rev P Dolding-Beedle being a minister of the 1st Self-Assembly of God. The first, Nanorock, has similar nanophysiology, but is equipped with a slightly different functionalized nano-robot end effector, replacing the nanoscissors by nanorock. This thick hunk of ultrahard nanodiamondoid can rapidly blunt the nanothin diamondoid coating of the nanoscissors rendering the terror weapon " as useless as a man's nipples," said Rev Dolding-Beedle.
However, left unchecked, the team realized that Nanorocks could also cause a lot of damage once a Nanoscissors infestation was completely eradicated. They could destroy tissue by a process termed nanocomminution, bashing and pulverizing flesh, as they exponentially self-assembled. To prevent the cure being worse than the disease, computer simulations of advanced bionanotechnology was employed to help guide the Nanolithographical Nanotoolbox in creating a high resolution image of Nanopaper. Nanopaper has a complex lipid bilayer which can replicate using instructions encoded inside short DNA strands held on its head. The bilayers can readily deform and form a unilammellar vesicle around the nanodiamond nanorock again rendering it utterly useless against human tissue. Equally Nanopaper can be shredded by Nanoscissors.
Dolding-Beedle has used numerical simulations and burned thousands of hours of computer time at the National Nanocomputing Facility to reproduce the population dynamics. In the abstract of his recent paper, entitled, "Solution to the Three-Body Nanobot Problem", Dolding-Beedle revealed the following interactions needed to be taken into account to understand the nanodynamics:
The $23m computer study revealed that the end result was nanostasis: a standoff in which none of the nanobots is able to do anything for fear of decimation by its antithesis- even the time taken for further self-assembly renders it vulnerable to destruction.
The Nanobot Preparedness Office of the U.S. Dept of Homeland Security have taken this research so seriously that they are investing the $50bn which Dolding-Beedle feels may be required to determine the mechanism of preassembling one million of each form of Freedombot for rapid dispersal should an atmospheric release of any one of these kinds occur near a major US city. Cost savings from closing the US Border Patrol, and Customs Service are being funnelled in to this effort.
Dolding-Beedle believes that still further improvements in quality are possible to the surfaces on which these images are currently laid down. "The torn raggedy bits on the edges reflect our current limitations in keeping the rendering surface atomically flat over wide areas. In addition to direct optical effects such as significant off-specular reflection of light, the deep folds, creases and tears in the rendering surface give the image a fractal quality." A new $50m investment in a graphical super computer for analysis of nanolithographical images is used to handle the extensive non-Euclidian geometry required to correct the optical aberrations. This has required an extensive synergistic collaboration with string theorists at the Applied Mathematics Dept at neighbouring BSU. "We have proven that the current rendering surfaces are actually perfectly planar in 157.3 dimensions. Analysis of the manifold represented by the crumpled envelope has also yielded evidence that it is topologically equivalent to a teapot with 15 handles - a powerful insight for future development," claims Dolding-Beedle. It is believed that with further investment of a mere $10m, even larger and flatter pieces of paper could be purchased from the local store and developed for nanorendering.