Lachlan passed away in January 2010.  As a memorial, this site remains as he left it.
Therefore the information on this site may not be current or accurate and should not be relied upon.
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Welcome to Lachlan Cranswick's Personal Homepage in Melbourne, Australia

London, England 2000

The Severe Brain Slapping that is to experience the Millennium Dome - 23rd June 2000

More Thought Death at the Millennium Dome

Lachlan's Homepage is at http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au

[Back to Lachlan's Homepage] | [What's New on Lachlan's Page]

London 2000: [From NHM down Kensington High Street - 19th June] | [Down Kensington High Street to the NHM- 20th June] | [Some Pseudo Random sites around London - 22nd June] | [Severe Brain Slapping that is to experience the Millenium Dome - 23rd June] | [A minor tour around the Natural History Museum - 26th June] | [Walk around Kensington Park/Hyde Park - 26th June] | [Evening Wander around Hyde Park, Marble Arch and Oxford Street - 26th June] | [Cromwell Road and handling the Malaise of Life - 27th June] | [Homage to the Blue Plaque at Benny Hill's old house - 27th June] | [Misc things and the miracle Coffee Machine of Birkbeck Crystallography Department - 29th June] | [Live from the Imperial College Student Union Bar - The Schofield Nightmare - Holland loses to Italy - 29th June] [Blue Plaques, Tate Modern, Southwark walk beside the Thames and Robbie Scott's - 1st July] | [French Embassy Complex of Shame (FECOS) page - July 2nd 2000] | [The Ethnically Cleansed Blue Plaque of Shame - 2nd to 4th of June] | [Royal Instution, Mayfair and surrounds - 6th July 2000] | [Ian Harrowfield visits the Natural History Museum - 7th July 2000] | [Boat trip down the Thames to Greenwich and back to Parliament - 8th July 2000]

[Brain Slapping Dome 2000 Homepage]

Be Appalled - be very Appalled!
(Under the Dictatorial Guidance of Detective Schofield and Iona)

Image

Description

Lachlan is Appalled Iona looks confident (being made of stern British stuff) while Lachlan tries to apply Astral Projection to beam himself away

  • The aftermath of the Show and Mind (sponsored by BAE Systems and Marconi) - Lachlan is Appalled, demoralised and brow beaten (and that was just the beginning)
  • Living Island exhibit: Iona looks confident (being made of stern British stuff) while Lachlan tries to apply Astral Projection to beam himself away

Rest A giant beating heart in the Body exhibit (sponsored by Boots)

  • Rest. This was quite nifty and enjoyable. Pity there were not more exhibits like this. Though the music seemed to be designed by a person with a migraine to give athers a migraine.
  • A giant beating heart in the Body exhibit (sponsored by Boots)

View from Body (sponsored by Boots) Body (sponsored by Boots)

  • View from Body (sponsored by Boots). The ever vigilant Detective Schofield claimed that the statue pictured had a glowing groin!
  • Body (sponsored by Boots). Some brains trying to tell lame jokes. But doing in such a soft voice, no-one could hear. Though Detective Schofield managed to hear one: "man has custard in one ear and jelly in the other, and the doctor says, 'what's the problem with your ears' and the man says 'it's a trifling problem'"

Some brain slapping medical propoganda after Body (Sponsored by Boots) in the land of the NHS Some brain slapping medical propoganda after Body (Sponsored by Boots) in the land of the NHS

  • Some brain slapping medical propoganda after Body (Sponsored by Boots) in the land of the NHS
  • Some brain slapping medical propoganda after Body (Sponsored by Boots) in the land of the NHS

Skyscape Detective Schofield investigates!

  • One of the lights from the Skyscape (hosted by Sky) saying "Enjoy". If only this was possible. Too much brain slapping going on and lame Blackadder show did not help. A quote from Detective Schofield: "I'd rather be staring at adverts". A quote from Iona: "I'd rather be staring at a blank screen".
  • Detective Schofield investigates! In this case: submissions to Self Portrait - A celebration of our country, our people, our attitudes and tastes chosen by people across the UK. I was dragged into this display so the Detective and Iona could see me throw up. But my stomach was made of sterner stuff than even I believed!

Detective Schofield - true blue Briton.  (Fairplay, humour, public spirit, language) Another type of true blue Briton in the form of a statue.

  • Detective Schofield - true blue Briton. (Fairplay, humour, public spirit, language)
  • Another type of true blue Briton in the form of a statue.

X-rays quoted in British Self Portrait below George Michaels X-rays quoted in British Self Portrait below George Michaels

  • X-rays quoted in British Self Portrait below George Michaels: "X-ray: Still the best invention for over 100 years and British too". This despite it being commonly stated that Rontgen discovered X-rays in Germany, 1895.

The mega brain-slapping that was Home Planet (sponsored by British Airways and BAA)  Canel

  • The mega brain-slapping that was Home Planet (sponsored by British Airways and BAA): Detective Schofield's mind is blitzed by the highly irritating child avatar, considered to be an incitement to violence.
  • The mega brain-slapping that was Home Planet (sponsored by British Airways and BAA): The child avatar deals brain slapping thought death! The photographer was so stunned and disoriented that no more photos could be taken during the session.

Planet Earth revolving near the Home Planet exhibit

  • Planet Earth revolving near the Home Planet exhibit. The relief of having escape the Home Planet exhibit before 100% thought death occured.

Glacier in Home Planet Glacier in Home Planet

  • Detective Schofield and Iona face horrible thought death for two extra cycles in Home Planet so they can get a photo of the quite nifty Lava flow. But at Lachlan's request, they also got the Glacier as well.

Lava flow in Home Planet

  • Detective Schofield and Iona face horrible thought death for two extra cycles in Home Planet so they can get a photo of the quite nifty Lava Flow in Home Planet.

Home Planet: 6 billion faces, just one heart

  • Home Planet: "But what's truely remarkable about this planet is the miracle of life. But the most wonderful thing: "6 billion faces, just one heart". A very touching statement and one that has the audience trying to break their chair restraints and throw up. The Americans who designed this oblivious to the fact that the last time anyone sighted a smiling coal miner in Britain was before Thatcher broke the unions in the 1980's.

Even the brave and courageous Iona and Detective Schofield would not enter the Shared Ground exhibit

  • Even the brave and courageous Iona and Detective Schofield would not enter the Shared Ground exhibit

Iona and Detective Schofield brain slapped beyond recognition

  • While in the Journey Exhibit (Sponsored by Ford) (with James Bond boat behind them): Iona and Detective Schofield feel the effects of the day's cumulative thought death. They are almost ready to swear blood allegiance to the New World Order. The cunning brainwashing that is the Millennium Dome has almost snared two more victims. Only a minor amount of extra brain slapping need be performed at this point.

Scale model of the Dome at Night The outside view of Rest

  • As part of the Journey Exhibit (Sponsored by Ford): Scale model of the Dome at Night. Good for those who wish to escape the Dome while the sun shines
  • The outside view of Rest

Inside view of Rest Inside view of Rest

  • Another inside view of Rest. The best exhibit by far. While Detective Schofield and Iona went to explore Learning (sponsored by Tesco) (they mentioned the mirror effects were quite good - but is this the thought death talking?), I went to Rest to have some more wierd and wondering Migraine inducing noise and relaxation.

An outside view of Our Town Stage Big vertical round thing which is an exhaust vent for a road tunnel.

  • An outside view of Our Town Stage
  • Big vertical round thing which is an exhaust vent for a road tunnel.

Poetry Links and stuff

Upon Westminster Bridge
(Sept. 3, 1802)
(William Wordsworth, 1770-1850)

Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth like a garment wear

The beauty of the morning: silent, bare,
Skips, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Open unto the fields, and to the sky,
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.

Never did sun more beatifully steep
In his first splendour valley, rock or hill;
Ne'er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!

The river glideth at this own sweet will:
Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;
And all that mighty heart is lying still!

London, MDCCCII
(William Wordsworth, 1770-1850)

O friend! I know not which way I must look
For comfort, being as I am, opprest
to think that now our life is only drest
For show; mean handiwork of craftsman, cook,

Or groom! - We must run glittering like a brook
In the open sunshine, or we are unblest;
The wealthiest man among us is the best:
No grandeur now in Nature or in book

Delights us. Rapine, avarice, expense,
This is idolatry; and these we adore:
Plain living and high thinking are no more:

The homely beauty of the good old cause
Is gone; our peace, our fearful innocence,
And pure religion breathing household laws.

London
(William Blake, 1757-1827)

I wandered through each chartered street,
Near where the chartered Thames does flow,
A mark in every face I meet,
Marks of weakness, marks of woe.

In every cry of every man,
In every infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear:

How the chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackening church appals,
And the hapless soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down palace-walls.

But most, through midnight streets I hear
How the youthful harlot's curse
Blasts the new-born infant's tear,
And blights with plagues the marriage-hearse.


[Brain Slapping Dome 2000 Homepage]

London 2000: [From NHM down Kensington High Street - 19th June] | [Down Kensington High Street to the NHM- 20th June] | [Some Pseudo Random sites around London - 22nd June] | [Severe Brain Slapping that is to experience the Millenium Dome - 23rd June] | [A minor tour around the Natural History Museum - 26th June] | [Walk around Kensington Park/Hyde Park - 26th June] | [Evening Wander around Hyde Park, Marble Arch and Oxford Street - 26th June] | [Cromwell Road and handling the Malaise of Life - 27th June] | [Homage to the Blue Plaque at Benny Hill's old house - 27th June] | [Misc things and the miracle Coffee Machine of Birkbeck Crystallography Department - 29th June] | [Live from the Imperial College Student Union Bar - The Schofield Nightmare - Holland loses to Italy - 29th June] [Blue Plaques, Tate Modern, Southwark walk beside the Thames and Robbie Scott's - 1st July] | [French Embassy Complex of Shame (FECOS) page - July 2nd 2000] | [The Ethnically Cleansed Blue Plaque of Shame - 2nd to 4th of June] | [Royal Instution, Mayfair and surrounds - 6th July 2000] | [Ian Harrowfield visits the Natural History Museum - 7th July 2000] | [Boat trip down the Thames to Greenwich and back to Parliament - 8th July 2000]

[ Back to Lachlan's Homepage]

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