The Despair 2003 Calendar Featuring: Flattery | Get To Work | Goals | Individuality | Intimidation | Leaders | Limitations | Meetings | Motivation | Planning | Strife | and a calendar exclusive, Change

The Despair 2002 Calendar Featuring Arrogance, Consulting, Demotivation, Elitism, Fear, Hazards, Irresponsibility, Overconfidence, Risks, Sacrifice and TWO previously unreleased Demotivators, "Assumptions" and "Indifference"!

Despair.com business Calendar (meant to make especially good gifts for "Disaffected college students") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/year20cal.html)

"Our Year 2001 (12" x 11") Wall Calendar includes all 12 of our latest Demotivators designs and also recounts over 100 pessimistic, idiotic, or lamentable days in human history! Tales of unfathomable incompetence... Of legendary miscalculation... Of pitiable misfortune... And of almost stupifying hubris..." "Featuring Blame, Bitterness, Cluelessness, Dare to Slack, Delusions, Disloyalty, Disservice, Dysfunction, Incompetence, Ignorance, Insanity and Pretension."

Adversity ("That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/adversity.html)

Doubt ("In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world") ( http://www.despair.com/doubt.html)

Burnout ("Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.") ( http://www.despair.com/burnout.html)

Dare to Slack ("When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half their effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/daretoslack.html)

Bitterness ("Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweat dreams.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/bitterness.html)

Laziness ("Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running.") ( http://www.despair.com/laziness.html)

Procrastination ("Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.") ( http://www.despair.com/proc24x30pri.html)

Agony ("Not all pain is gain") ( http://www.despair.com/ag24x30prin.html)

Blame ("The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/blame.html)

Incompetence ("When you honestly believe you can compenstate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/incompetence.html)

Idiocy ("Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups") ( http://www.despair.com/idiocy.html)

Underachievement ("The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower") ( http://www.despair.com/un.html)

Mediocrity ("It takes a lot less time, and people won't notice the difference until it's too late.") ( http://www.despair.com/med24x30prin.html)

Mistakes ("It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.") ( http://www.despair.com/mis24x30prin.html)

Misfortune ("When good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses") ( http://www.despair.com/misfortune.html)

Trouble ("Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young") ( http://www.despair.com/trouble.html)

Despair ("It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black") ( http://www.despair.com/despair.html)

Ignorance ("It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/ignorance.html)

Disloyalty ("There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices") ( http://www.despair.com/disloyalty.html)

Delusions ("There is no greater joy than soaring high on the waves of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/delusions.html)

The Relentless Pursuit of Dejection(tm) ("Oppressive and patronizing banners help Despair, Inc. turn employees into 'little people'") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/info.html)

Arrogance ("The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option brute intimidation works pretty well too.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/arrogance.html)

Consulting ("If you're not part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/consulting.html)

Elitism ("It's lonely at the top. But it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/elitism.html)

Fear ("Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/fear.html)

Hazards ("There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty, miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/hazards.html)

Irresponsibility ("No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/ir.html)

Overconfidence ("Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you can survive the odds beating you.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/overconfidence.html)

Sacrifice ("Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.") ( http://www.despair.com/demotivators/sacrifice.html)

DESPAIR,INC. WINS 1ST PLACE IN NATIONAL CALENDAR COMPETITION, MASSIVE CUSTOMER PROTESTS ENSUE "E.L. Kersten, Ph.D. bombards dissatisfied customers with demoralized employees" "Disperse, chronic losers, your protests are doomed to fail, as are all your efforts!", yelled Kersten at the pathetic mob, "You are only succeeding at lowering the property value!" When Kersten was unable to disperse the crowd with threats and insults, he finally decided to strike back by hurling nameless employees of Despair, Inc., or 'little people', off of the terrace and down at the masses. His ten-year personal secretary and longtime confidante, "Hey You", said of the bombardments, "It has always been his secret dream to crush his dissatisfied customers with his demoralized employees." : http://www.despair.com/demotivators/recentspin.html http://www.despair.com/demotivators/deswin1stpla.html "Despair, Inc., liberally employs both satire and parody throughout its website and products. Articles and items appearing in our "Corporate Spin" are, as designated, satire and not intended to be an accurate portrayal of the persons or companies depicted. Dr. E.L. Kersten is Despair, Incorporated's COO, cofounder and principle advocate, and should not be inferred to be a product of fiction. No Awards, Customer Endorsements, or Testimonials are works of fiction."