More Background - refer: George Orwell's "Nineteen Eighty-Four"

A good book to read if visiting or staying in "the futile city", is George Orwell's "Nineteen Eighty-Four"; as it is all about living in London. Of which an extract of Winston Smith's thoughts follow:

"The fabulous statistics continued to pour out of the telescreen. As compared with last year there was more food, more clothes, more houses, more furniture, more cooking-pots, more fuel, more ships, more helecopters, more books, more babies - more of everything except disease, crime and insanity. Year by year and minute by minute, everybody and everything was whizzing rapidly upwards." . . . but . . . "Always in your stomach and in your skin there was a sort of protest, a feeling that you had been cheated of something that you had a right to. It was true that he had no memories of anything greatly different. In any time that he could accurately remember, there had never been quite enough to eat, one had never had socks or underclothes that were not full of holes, furniture had always been battered and rickity, rooms underheated, tube trains crowded, houses falling to pieces, bread dark-coloured, tea a rarity, coffee filthy-tasting, cigarettes insufficient - nothing cheap and plentiful except synthetic gin. And though, of course, it grew worse as one's body aged, was it not a sign that this was not the natural order of things, if one's heart sickened at the discomfort and dirt and scarcity, the interminable winters, the stickiness of one's socks, the lifts that never worked, the cold water, the gritty soap, the cigarettes that came to pieces, the food with its strange evil tastes? Why should one feel it to be interolerable unless one had some kind of ancestral memory that things had once been different?".

The life of a London Fire fighter - working in London - but not able to afford living in London

• (London) Fire workers: 'We don't want to go on strike. We just want a decent wage' By Cahal Milmo (19 October 2002)

• From http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/story.jsp?story=343922

• "Blue watch, the 15 men entrusted with the safety of a large chunk of London yesterday, nodded their heads in grim unanimity as one of their number explained why Britain's firemen yesterday voted for their first strike in 25 years.

  Greg Pattinson, a firefighter for 24 years, said: "Listen, we don't for one second want to do this. But we can't just be told any more that we do a wonderful job. What we want is a decent wage."

  The men of Blue Watch were gathered in a circle, sipping mugs of tea after returning from their last "shout" or 999 call to Wembley Fire Station, north-west London.

  According to London Fire Brigade figures, Blue Watch and their 45 colleagues at Wembley last year answered 1,500 emergency calls ranging from house fires to their first call yesterday, a case of a smoking domestic garage. Because it acts as a support for smaller neighbouring stations but does not have those 999 calls added to its statistics, the real number is more like 2,000 – or 5.5 callouts every day.

  But according to Wembley's firemen, a different set of statistics tell the real tale of life as a firefighter and the overwhelming frustration and anger which has led them to what they call "our very last resort".

  - Only one member of Blue Watch lives in the London borough of Brent where the station is based. Unable to afford soaring property prices, the rest live in places including Peterborough, Milton Keynes, Bournemouth and Dorchester. Four live in the Irish Republic.

  - As a result, every night at least five of the men have to sleep in the fire station regardless of whether they are on night duty. Others prefer a long commute to see their children for an hour each night. One man drives from Cornwall and sleeps in his van in the fire station car park.

  Welcome, say Blue Watch, to the British fire service in 2002.

  Mr Pattinson, a 42-year-old father of three, who has a law degree achieved while in service, had risen at 5am to leave his Milton Keynes home. His shift starts at 9am but he has to arrive at 7am to avoid traffic jams. With luck, he will be home tonight by 8.45pm. After nearly 25 years' service with the London Fire Brigade, he earns £24,500. He said: "People have to know the truth of how this service is provided and that is because of the sacrifices we have made in 25 years of being steadily underpaid.

  "I do this job because I love it, because I and every other firefighter has a strong sense of public duty. But we don't want to be told any more that we are heroes, that we do a wonderful job. We aren't special, we do a job like anyone else but all we want is to do that job for a decent wage."

  The men, with an average age of 35 and an average salary of around £22,000, bristled at any suggestion that their 40 per cent pay claim, meaning £30,000 for a full-time qualified firefighter, was excessive.

  They pointed out that had they received the same percentage pay increases as government ministers since their last national pay formula was decided in 1977, their average wage would be £34,000.

  A 40 per cent increase, they said would only bring them into line with public servants in the police, the health service and schools.

  It would also remove the need for some of them to supplement their income by working up to 42 extra hours a week as taxi drivers, lorry drivers and bar staff.

  Dave Sinclair, an imposing former Royal Marine and Blue Watch's sub-officer, who has to sleep on his chief officer's floor when he is not at home in Bournemouth, said firefighters were being asked to take on more and more duties with diminishing returns. They make educational visits, carry out domestic and business safety surveys and install free smoke detectors for the elderly.

  They are also required to answer any 999 calls within eight minutes and be ready to deal with any incident from a warehouse fire to a multiple pile-up.

  Mr Sinclair, 49, said: "We are professionals just like police officers but we don't receive the same status. We don't qualify for low-interest home loans; that's why none of us live in London. We don't earn enough to pay our mortgages, which is why so many of us have second jobs. What was 25 years of frustration has become a very real anger."

  Kevin Malone, 39, a firefighter for 14 years who lives in Peterborough because it was the only place he could afford, said: "Do you think we really want to see Green Goddesses on the streets? Of course we don't, we are not militants but that is the measure of how bad things are. We must see this through.""

• Money for reform: the Blairite mantra must apply to firefighters too (19 October 2002)

• From http://argument.independent.co.uk/leading_articles/story.jsp?story=343896

• "For Britain's firefighters to throw away public sympathy for their claim for higher pay requires either real malice or real incompetence on the part of their union's leadership. Of all public sector workers, only nurses come close to firefighters in earning uncritical support from the general public.

  And yet the Fire Brigades Union (FBU) puts that deep fund of respect in peril with a claim for a 40 per cent pay rise, an obstructive attitude towards the mere suggestion of changes to the shift system and, now, a decision to strike which will put lives at risk.

  Of course, the decision to strike was taken by a democratic ballot of the union membership, and it is a measure of the strength of feeling that they are prepared to go so far. But this is an outcome which could and should have been avoided if more imagination had been shown by the FBU and the Government.

  The firefighters have a good case (a) for more money and (b) for modernising the formula which has settled their pay since the last strike in 1977. But that case is not so strong that it could justify a single avoidable death. There must be better ways for the FBU to draw attention to its case than striking, but the union's left-wing leadership is poorly equipped to think of them.

  Its case is not even strong enough to justify the claim for a 40 per cent rise. Much of the arithmetic of the firefighters' grievance is suspect. As a group, firefighters have done reasonably well since 1977. Contrary to myth, they have done better than most other groups in the public sector and their pay has always increased by more than inflation. Their current pay, £21,531 a year, is more than that earned by half the full-time workforce.

  That was what the 1977 formula was designed to do, and for a long time it succeeded in its aim of avoiding the need for strike action. But the employers have made a poor fist of countering the FBU's propaganda about how poorly-paid its members are.

  It is also true, however, that the formula is out of date. Linking firefighters' pay to that of male manual workers is not only sexist, it has produced dwindling returns in recent years.

  The formula ought to reflect the fact that society as a whole owes firefighters a special debt. The reward for their contribution should be set in relation to the incomes of the population as a whole, so the formula ought to fix firefighters' pay in relation to average incomes rather than the earnings of any particular group.

  But this dispute does raise the issue of whether pay ought to be set by national bargaining at all. And it also draws attention to the FBU's refusal to enter discussions about changing working patterns. It seems probable, to put it at its mildest, that the fire service could be organised more efficiently if it were not bound by the two-shift system which is even older than the pay formula.

  Tony Blair is right to insist that the principle of more money for reform applies to the fire service as much as to other public services. But it may be that the only way to achieve reform would be to devolve pay bargaining.

  A review body could fix a new formula to provide a minimum pay level – more than 4 per cent higher than current pay but less than 40 per cent higher. It could then be up to local authorities to offer more money in return for flexible working patterns to suit local conditions, including local labour market conditions.

  The Government should not have allowed FBU members' resentments to build up to such a pitch. But now it has no choice but to pay up. The best it can hope for is to ensure that the money has strings marked "flexible working practices" firmly attached. "

Extracts of paperwork The Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea sent to Landlord (my tenant's copy) October 2002

Re: Mouse and Cockroach Infestation. Public Health Act 1936 & Prevention of Damage by Pests Act 1949.

Notice requiring Owner or Occupier to cary out works.

Whereas it appears to the Council of The Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea that steps should be taken for keeping the above mentioned land free from rats and/or mice.

Notice requiring the Cleansing of Filthy or Unwholesome or Verminous Premises

Whereas the Major, Alderman and Burgesses of The Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea (hereinafter called the "Council") are satisfied upon consideration of a report from one of their officers, or from other information in their possession, that the premises situated in the said Borough and known as XXXX are in such a filthy or unwholesome condition as to be prejudicial to health and are verminous.

NOW THEREAFTER TAKE NOTICE that the Council pursuant to Section 83 of the Public Health Act, 1936, as amended by Section 35 of the Public Health Act, 1961, and as applied by Section 40 of the London Government Act, 1963, hereby require you within 14 days from this date to take the following steps to remedy the condition of the premises: (See Attached Schedule).

London University Accomodaton Databases

• Student Union: University of London Accommodation Site
  • At http://housing.lon.ac.uk/
  • London Accommodation : Databases of accommodation : http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site6/QueryF2.htm
  • Advice for tenants: http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site6/advice5f.htm
  • Advice for tenants: London Area Guide: http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site6/Postcodes/Area.htm
  • Advice for tenants: London Area Guide: "Should I live in travel zone 1, 2 or 3 ? - Article" http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site6/Postcodes/Zone.htm#zone1
  • Advice for tenants: Frequently Asked Questions: http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site6/FAQ.htm
  • Visiting Academics/Accommodation: http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site3/Topics.htm#AA | http://www.lon.ac.uk/estates/visitorsflats.html
  • Finding accommodation in London remotely : Can I book accommodation from abroad? : http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site6/abroad.htm | http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site6/Looking4.htm

  • Advice for tenants: Frequently Asked Questions: CONTRACTS: http://housing.lon.ac.uk/site6/Overview.htm#Contracts
    • Before agreeing to lease a property, obtain from the landlord/agent proof of permission to let. This is particularly important where a landlord is paying a mortgage. If the landlord/agent does not have permission to let, and stops paying the mortgage, the mortgage company could foreclose on the property and evict you
      A written contract is any agreement between two parties, signed and preferably witnessed
      There is no legal requirement for a landlord/agent to provide a written contract but always try and have one (or provide one yourself), as it helps prevent misunderstanding and disagreement and is proof of what was agreed
      ALWAYS read a contract before signing; you are legally entitled to have a copy of it once signed

  • Introduction to the InterCollegiate Halls of Residence (including post graduate accommodation) : http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site3/Halls3.htm#booking

  • References: http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site3/Topics.htm#references

  • Area Guide: http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site4/Areaf.htm

  • Search the Accommodation Database : http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site4/QueryF1.htm

  • University of London web-site guide to Accommodation Agencies 2000 : London, UK : http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site4/992.htm

  • List of Letting Agencies currently registered with the ULAO - London UK : http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site4/Agencies.htm

  • UOL Landlord site: http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site4/StoL.htm

  • Welcome to Our Slum - Life in the Skunk House : http://www.impson.com/slumlord/

  • Streetmap.co.uk - London and UK On-line maps
    • At http://www.streetmap.co.uk

London on-line Street maps

• Streetmap.co.uk - London and UK On-line maps
  • At http://www.streetmap.co.uk

London Letting Advert websites / Letting Companies / Agencies

As mentioned above - by default, most advertised flats are unrealistically expensive in London. If you have the chance to search around, it is possible to find bargains (relatively low price and of good standard. There are some non-ratbag agents/landlords in London who offer decent rates, service and accommodation but you do have to look and perservere). It also helps to have good references. Many advertised flats try and make it look their "above average" asking rental prices are actually the "standard" price - be wary and be willing to haggle as if you say you can only afford to pay X per month, agents have been known to be flexible (unpublished verbal reports).

• Tuesday, 7 May, 2002, 07:43 GMT 08:43 UK - UK rental market 'wobbling'
  • At http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/1961628.stm

  • "Too many landlords

    Ray Barrowdale of RICS told BBC News Online that while landlords were still making a profit, average returns from property investments were falling.

    "What's appearing now, in some parts, is a waiting list of landlords. Normally there is a waiting list of tenants," he said.

    He said people needed to be careful and should do their homework before putting money into property.

    London falling

    Malcolm Harrison, spokesman for the Association of Residential letting Agents (ARLA), told BBC News Online that there had been a decline in rental yields in prime London areas.

    Rental yields were about 5% to 6% in these areas, far off the amounts people were getting a few years ago.

    In simpler terms, this means that people are on average getting between £5,000 and £6,000 a year from rental income on a £100,000 property, rather than £9,000 or £10,000.

    Mr Harrison said that these 9 and 10% yields were "unsustainable". "

• Winkworth
  • At http://www.winkworth.co.uk

• FLATS-R-US, for buying, selling, renting or letting Flats
  • At http://www.flats-r-us.co.uk

• LOOT
  • At http://www.loot.com

• Net lettings - London flats to rent
  • "Net lettings - London flats to rent. 50+ letting and estate agents in all areas. Accommodation to rent. Holiday flats, studios homes or apartments to rent, real estate to rent or to let. THE London property rental website."
  • At http://www.net-lettings.co.uk/

Around Earl's Court

• Sherlock Holmes
  • At http://www.sherlockhomes.uk.com

• Peter Woods
  • At http://www.peterwoods.co.uk

• Taunton Estates
  • At http://www.net-lettings.co.uk/tauntons/index.html

• London Property Bureau
  • At http://www.net-lettings.co.uk/lonprop/index.html

• Alliance Residential
  • At http://www.allianceresidential.co.uk

• Marston Properties
  • At http://www.marstonproperties.co.uk

English / London Tenancy Agreements and Rental Contracts

• UK English TENANCY AGREEMENT Form:
  • http://www.letonthenet.com/england/landlords/documents/tenagreement_f.html
  • English TENANCY AGREEMENT - GUIDANCE NOTES : http://www.letonthenet.com/england/landlords/documents/notesforguidance.html
  • English TENANCY AGREEMENT INVENTORY Form : http://www.letonthenet.com/england/landlords/documents/inventory.html
  • English LANDLORD OBLIGATIONS : http://www.letonthenet.com/england/landlords/legal_obligations.asp
  • English STANDING ORDER FORM for bank transfer of Rent to Landlord's account : http://www.letonthenet.com/england/landlords/documents/standingorder.html

• Advice for tenants: Frequently Asked Questions: CONTRACTS: http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site4/faqf.htm
  • Before agreeing to lease a property, obtain from the landlord/agent proof of permission to let. This is particularly important where a landlord is paying a mortgage. If the landlord/agent does not have permission to let, and stops paying the mortgage, the mortgage company could foreclose on the property and evict you
    A written contract is any agreement between two parties, signed and preferably witnessed
    There is no legal requirement for a landlord/agent to provide a written contract but always try and have one (or provide one yourself), as it helps prevent misunderstanding and disagreement and is proof of what was agreed
    ALWAYS read a contract before signing; you are legally entitled to have a copy of it once signed

• UOL Landlord site - TENANCY AGREEMENTS : http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site4/Landlord/Tenancy.htm

• UOL Landlord site - SAFETY LEGISLATION : http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site4/Landlord/Safety.htm

• Welcome to Letlink! (Letlink is an on-line service for residential letting providing a comprehensive Internet site for the United Kingdom letting sector. It lists local letting agents and provides essential information for landlords or tenants, and advice for people relocating to the UK.) : http://www.letlink.co.uk/

• FACTS: Assured Shorthold Tenancy Agreements (The Housing Act 1988 as amended by the Housing Act 1996) : http://www.letlink.co.uk/Facts/lfacts19.html
  • For tenancies created on or after February 28 1997, there is no longer any requirement to serve the tenant with a prior notice of assured shorthold tenancy (the 's20 notice)'
  • Completing the tenancy agreement:

    The usual practice is to for the landlord (or agent) to prepare two duplicate copies of the agreement ready for signing; these are called the Original and Counterpart. When completing the standard form, all details, signatures and dates must be completed on both documents in ink, by hand or typewritten (not pencil). All parts of the form should be completed clearly fully and unambiguously. Should a court be called upon to interpret the agreement, it might uphold the contra proferentem rule where ambiguity is resolved against the party preparing the agreement or else conclude that those parties had still to reach agreement concerning those uncompleted portions (in which case, the agreement as a whole might be declared void).

    Completion details:

    • Date: enter here the date when the agreement was made between the parties. If the agreement is to be signed by the parties at different times, the date of the first signature can be used.
    • Landlord: enter the name(s) of the landlord(s). If the property is jointly owned, include all names.
    • Tenant(s): likewise, enter the name(s) of the tenant(s). The full name(s) of the tenant(s) should be completed on the agreement. Where there is a joint tenancy, all joint tenants should be listed.
    • Property: the property or dwelling being let should be accurately defined within this section of the agreement such that the address or description fully identifies the property and is free from ambiguity.
    • Term: since the changes introduced by the Housing Act 1996, an assured shorthold tenancy need not now be a term certain of at least six months - it can be any length of time. If the fixed term is to exceed three years, then the agreement must be drawn up by deed (consult your solicitor for details).
    • Rent: the agreement should clearly state the amount of rent payable, and the frequency of the payments (the rental period). Generally, the rental period would be monthly although the rent could validly be expressed as a weekly or quarterly amount. If weekly, then a rent book must also be supplied. If the rent exceeds £25,000 per annum, then the tenancy may not be assured shorthold (see above).

• English Tenancy Deposit Scheme: Legal Documents for renters: (All our documents meet the Clear English Standard of the Plain Language Commission.):
  • http://www.ihos.org.uk/tds/downloads.htm

• Streetmap.co.uk - London and UK On-line maps
  • At http://www.streetmap.co.uk

Public Transport

• London Transport/Public Transport Page
  • At http://www.londontransport.co.uk/
  • "For 24 hour information on all London Underground services, please call London Travel Information on 020 7222 1234."

  • London Tube/Underground Transit/Train System / Metro System: http://www.thetube.com/
  • London Tube/Underground Trainsit/Train System Maps: http://www.thetube.com/content/tubemap/

  • London Tube press information giving the official reasons why the Tube service is so frequently crappy and unrealible: http://www.thetube.com/content/pressreleases/

  • London Tube Fares Information: http://www.thetube.com/content/tickets/
    • First and last trains: Victoria Line : http://www.thetube.com/content/firstandlast/victoria/

    • First and last trains: Piccadilly Line : http://www.thetube.com/content/firstandlast/piccadilly/

    • First and last trains: Circle Line : http://www.thetube.com/content/firstandlast/circle/

    • First and last trains: District Line : http://www.thetube.com/content/firstandlast/district/

    • First and last trains: Central Line : http://www.thetube.com/content/firstandlast/central/

    • First and last trains: Northern Line : http://www.thetube.com/content/firstandlast/Northern/

  • London Tube Photocard Information: http://www.londontransport.co.uk/ftt_photocard.shtml

  • Visitor Travelcards (Cannot be bought in London - "Visitor Travelcards are generally only available for purchase overseas and cannot be purchased once in the UK. However, some UK travel agents will offer Visitor Travelcards as part of a package trip to London."): http://www.londontransport.co.uk/ftt_visitor.shtml

  • First and last tube trains: http://www.thetube.com/content/journey/

  • London Tube Service Status update: http://www.thetube.com/content/nexus/

  • Public transport in London over Christmas and New Year : http://www.thetube.com/content/tickets/xmastravel/

• London Transport Bus maps
  • At http://www.londontransport.co.uk/buses/mab_maps.shtml
  • Via Cromwell Road to Heathrow - Route 74 or Night Bus N97 to Heathrow.

• Going Underground
  • At http://www.goingunderground.net

  • At http://solo2.abac.com/themole/

  • "'the next train is arriving from another dimension'"

  • At http://solo2.abac.com/themole/#claims
    • "The London Underground Customer Charter offers a very straightforward refund system for an individual journey delayed more than 15 minutes (except in circumstances outside LU control such as freak weather or security alerts) Claim forms are available at any London Underground station. The refund amount is the standard single fare for the Underground journey you were undertaking." Paul, from London Transport

    • ""Having spent many hours trapped in delayed trains on the Underground, I attempt to gain a level of retribution by completing the Customer Charter Refund Form. This too I find a total bind, so I have developed a small computer program to assist in this task. The system operates by retaining my personal information, as well as that relating to my season ticket. I then simply complete the details relating to that particular claim and insert a claim form in my printer. The program has been set up to fill in the appropriate blanks, except for the last line which is too close to the edge of the page. I then can simply post off the claim and wait for the return. "In addition, the system then records each claim so I have a record of what claims are outstanding, and how long it takes London Underground to process them, as well as a record of the 'value' of my vouchers. "This project started out as a bit of fun, simply for my own amusement. I was however quite appalled when I discovered that London Underground process some 21,000 claims a week. The cost of processing these claims in terms of stationary, manpower, and loss of revenue to London Underground must be horrendous. If anyone, especially from London Underground can corroborate these figures, I would be interested to hear from them. And if anyone is interested in my program please contact me. Who knows, there may be something in this yet!" B Gower "

• This isn't London : The internet's first, best and only source of untrue, made-up and false facts and information about London.
  • At http://thisisntlondon.blogspot.com/
  • At http://thisisntlondon.blogspot.com/2004/06/welcome-to-this-isnt-london.html

  • This site was created on 3 June 2004 as the web's first, best and only* source of completely untrue - indeed, made-up and unfactual - facts and information about London, The World's Greatest City*. Its creator originally planned an Encyclopedia Errata of untrue facts about things in general, to counter the rising tide of accuracy and diligence on the internet*, only to realise upon being permitted access to the British Library's fabled Mythomaniacal Archive* that the vast bulk of interesting material therein was about London*, his home city.

    This database will be updated hourly* and by September 2004 will contain more than 600,000 entries*.

    *Might not be true.

  • At http://thisisntlondon.blogspot.com/2004/06/poetry-on-underground.html

  • Outside, above the
    ground, far from the
    city, deer drink from
    streams so pure and
    cold they sparkle like
    diamond; hoarfrost
    rattles in branches and
    rooks call softly through
    the still, pure air. And
    you'll never see it
    because you are trapped
    in a steel box with 500
    other smelly drones.
    Have a pleasant
    journey.
    

  • At http://thisisntlondon.blogspot.com/2004/07/dog-barons.html

  • The Dog Barons

    All of London's dogs are owned by the same company. Amalgamated Canine Industries was founded when the dog population of the city was nationalised under the Attlee government in 1948, and its holdings were leased back to the pooches' former owners. Since then, this company has, in various forms, regulated all dog activity in the capital.

    However, it was not always successful. Inefficiencies and strikes in the late 1970s plagued ACI, and ultimately led to some dogs going as much as three days without walkies. Hampstead Heath was littered with unreturned sticks, and the Minister for Employment struck out at some of those involved, claiming "I have found many to be not very good boys at all".

    In 1987, Thatcher privatised ACI in order to improve its competitiveness, and in 2001 the company rebranded as ProCanis.

    On a related topic, it's interesting to note that, although they operate on a freelance basis, the squirrels of St James's Park are unionised. This makes them the third most organised group of animals in London after dogs and wombles. Wombles do not have their own union, but most are members of Unison, the public service union.

  • At http://thisisntlondon.blogspot.com/2004/07/sad-tale-of-moquette.html

  • The Sad Tale of the Moquette

    "Moquette" is the robust, deep-pile material used to cover the seats on the London Underground and on London buses.

    For many years these seats were simple wooden benches. When the decision was made to upgrade to padded seats, the Royal Geographical Society despatched explorers to points throughout the British Empire to find a material tough enough to withstand the rears of thousands of Londoners.

    The breakthrough was made by Sir Magnus Larchwood in south-west Africa. In 1923 he discovered a species called the moquette (a relation of the meerkat) that had checked fur in a variety of striking colours, notably orange, purple, blue and brown. A trade in the moquette was set up and Tubes were furbished with their hides.

    Sadly, such was the demand for moquette skins that the native population quickly dwindled. The ranks of this noble beast were further eroded after the second world war when they fell prey to Wrigley's Disease, a malady spread by discarded chewing gum. The last moquette died in captivity at the Royal College of Fashion in 1974 during a desperate attempt to equip the new Jubilee Line.

  • At http://thisisntlondon.blogspot.com/2004/07/sad-tale-of-moquette.html

  • Poetry on the Underground #2

    Hammersmith: 'So bad it's good'

• Going Underground's Blog - Saturday, July 31, 2004
  • At http://www.london-underground.blogspot.com/

  • At http://news.scotsman.com/education.cfm?id=876162004
  • At http://www.london-underground.blogspot.com/archives/2004_07_01_london-underground_archive.html

  • Saturday, July 31, 2004: Tube Ad banned : Smelly Food Ad Pulled for insulting Italians
    Friday, June 04, 2004

  • Friday, July 16, 2004: Threat of Tube Strike and Deafness

    What a great start to the day as there's going to be more discussions on more industrial action today (I'll keep you posted on the outcome), but just in case that's not cheery enough it looks as though being on the tube could cause hearing loss.

    According to the BBC "An expert measured sound levels louder than a pneumatic drill and advised regular passengers to consider wearing ear protection." The expert in question measured noise levels on the Victoria Line and found that found that the noise peaked at 118dB, louder than a pneumatic drill. Apparently the average level was between 88 and 89dB.

  • Wednesday, June 16, 2004:

    Our Shiney Modern Tube
    trains are so full of
    aggravated passengers
    in the hot summer
    months that they even
    exceed E.U. legislation
    for cattle transport.

    Our advice?

    Drink some water or
    maybe get off a bit early
    if you're feeling a bit faint
    you winging pansy.

  • At http://www.london-underground.blogspot.com/archives/2004_04_01_london-underground_archive.html

  • Friday, April 02, 2004: London Dungeon advert:

    "If you think that being squashed together buttock to buttock, armpit to nose, hurtling through putrid rat infested tunnels is bad, go back 300 years and get a trouser wetting, heart pumping feel of what it was really like to be punished as a traitor. We'll shove you on a boat ride to HELL. You'll be screaming to get back on The Tube."

  • At http://www.london-underground.blogspot.com/archives/2004_03_01_london-underground_archive.html

  • Friday, March 26, 2004: Oh God, a Bag, I'll pretend I didn't see it

    If you suspect it, leave it
    Don't start asking questions who it belongs to. You'll only embarrass yourself and everyone else.

    London, don't make a fuss.

  • At http://www.london-underground.blogspot.com/archives/2003_10_01_london-underground_archive.html

  • Wednesday, October 15, 2003: Reading over people's shoulders

  • At http://www.london-underground.blogspot.com/archives/2003_08_01_london-underground_archive.html

  • Wednesday, August 27, 2003: Tube poet

    Forget to say that last Friday 22nd August on the Northern Line at about 6ish (not my normal line thank God) I saw this tube poet/busker reciting a poem about commuting. He was white, quite skinny, skinhead with a strange long strand of blue hair protruding from the front.

    He got on the train and said something like "Ladies and Gentleman can I have a moment of your time?" (which is tantamount to saying - "I am a tramp or a nutter and about to embarrass you") He then recited a "poem" about tube commuting which I wish to the life of me I could have remembered, but it's something like:

    A is for the arseholes that we travel with everyday
    B is for Bureaucracy that always makes you pay etc etc

    I made the above two up, but some actual ones were:

    J is for the jealousy for those that have a seat

    M is for the announcer saying Mind the Gap
    N is for the newspapers that are always full of crap

    P is for the pervert who is staring at your crutch

    He went through the whole alphabet, during which there a few smiles and then lots of shuffling as it was going on a bit too long and we wondered what he'd do at the end. When it did actually end, there was a silence, and he said "Ah come on folks - you can do better than that" - still nothing. Then he looked all hurt and stood in the corner swigging from a bottle of mineral water and got off at the next stop.

    Does the poor man do this every day?

    Does anyone else know the whole poem or can you fill in some of the lines?

  • Wednesday, October 15, 2003: Reading over people's shoulders

  • At http://www.london-underground.blogspot.com/archives/2003_07_01_london-underground_archive.html

  • Friday, July 11, 2003:

    Urban Intervention No.5
    When a tourist next asks you for direction insist on personally taking them to their destination, even if this involves catching a bus or taking the Tube

    Urban Intervention No.6
    If you are asked for directions and are unable to help, consider recommending an alternative destination that you would find equally interesting

  • At http://www.london-underground.blogspot.com/archives/2003_05_01_london-underground_archive.html

  • Saturday, May 17, 2003:

    Found a strange little site that had linked to my tuberules page today which compares London with Hong Kong in bullet point form.

    It's starts with the Underground:

    MTR: Wonderful & modern. Very efficient.

    Underground: Complicated network with rats. Can stop between stations for 15 minutes without air-conditioning.

    For more comparisons of London with Hong Kong

• The Tubeprune (Tube Professionals' RUmour NEtwork)
  • At http://www.trainweb.org/tubeprune/index.htm

  • Tube rules - Underground Etiquette
    • At http://solo2.abac.com/themole/tuberules.html

    • [Don't read over my shoulder] [When to give up your seat] [Don't stand so close to me] [Look before you sit] [Don't barge onto trains] [Stand clear of the closing doors] [Mind the Gap] [Stand clear of the droning bores] [Talkin' loud and saying nothing] [When did your bags last buy a ticket?] [Throwing up] [Rucksacks!!!!] [Stand on the right] [Shut your legs] [No kissing either] [Coughs and Sneezes] [Don't fall asleep on the tube] [How to get a seat] [Trust no one] [You are not invisible all the time] [The art of balance] [Try not to faint] [Don't look at anyone] [Barriers are there for a reason] [Don't blow your nose] [Watch your brollies] [Have consideration for tourists!] [Multiple swipers should be banned] [Don't stare at seats too long] [You might meet your future partner] [How to be first on the tube]

    • Lesson twenty three - Avoid eye contact : http://solo2.abac.com/themole/tuberules.html#eyecontact

    • Perils of the decrepit District Line : http://www.thisislondon.com/dynamic/news/top_story.html?in_review_id=145423&in_review_text_id=118402
      • "There is no moral high ground in any argument against the private car, and there can be none until we are provided with public transport that is more than adequate and utterly reliable. "

  • It's hell down there (what it is like to work in the London Underground)
    • At http://www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,4093320,00.html

    • "The London underground is a great example of familiarity breeding contempt. The lucky Victorians who travelled through the tunnels from Farringdon to Paddington - in steam trains - were amazed and enthralled by the feats of engineering. When the escalator was introduced, the underground had to employ staff to ride it to prove its safety to an overawed public. The stations built in the 30s are among the finest examples of art deco architecture in London. Yet when I told a friend I was applying for the job of station assistant he warned me, quite accurately, that underground staff rank alongside traffic wardens in the London public's hall of disdain."

    • "In the old days, wages were poor, drinking among staff was rife and the fact that King's Cross did not burn down every day truly is a reason to believe in God. After the 1987 fire, however, nothing could be the same again, and the so-called Company Plan shook up the organisation with a lot of mission statements, sackings and wage rises. Those who held on to their jobs were soon mingling with graduates and ex-professionals who had not found anywhere else to earn such a living wage. "

    • "For the humble station assistant - fortunately not stuck behind glass - the only way to avoid all this is simply to skive. The younger staff are quite brutal about this, going to the toilet for 20 minutes at a time and taking two hours to go three stops up the line and back again. But the older staff, schooled in the heady 70s, when doing your duty meant getting your round in, are in another world. "

    • "Once one of the managers went to him during the round of pay talks. "What do you think of this rubbish the RMT want, Derek," he asked. "They're never going to get a 35-hour week, you know." "Thirty-five-hour week!" Derek spluttered. "No one's getting me to work a 35-hour week!"

      Of course, the familiarity Londoners have with the tube tends to be familiarity with overpricing, overcrowding and under-running. The consequences of 30 years of efficiency savings has left a skeletal system that has no slack to accommodate the inevitable mishaps. In addition, the inexorable rise in passenger numbers means that even a fully functioning train service is bursting at the seams.

      Meanwhile, the organisation is being broken up in preparation for the most bizarre sell-off of them all, so that contractors working for the Victoria line, for example, cannot now attend an emergency job under the Northern line's jurisdiction - even if they are on the same station.

      The current crisis on the national rail system is a sure indicator of the direction the underground is taking as management fragments and the staff are required to be multiskilled, in order that one person can do three people's jobs. If the underground has avoided the catastrophes of the train network, it is only because it has not yet succumbed to the full-blown idiocy of privatisation. "

    • "The tube's managers are hamstrung by the fact that - since for the most part they are much too lazy to do anything - their warnings and threats can be taken lightly, at least for the first five years or so. The managers who bounce in, full of energy and enthusiasm, are soon worn down by the sloth and malaise of the whole place. "

  • Connex: Nobody should be charged for an experience so awful - By Barrie Clement, Transport Editor - 28 June 2003
    • At http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/transport/story.jsp?story=419722

    • Commuters with no history of mental illness have been known to stand on platforms and growl. Others have been seen smashing to bits their umbrellas. One man made a mock announcement to hundreds of passengers that the managing director of the train operator had been taken out and shot. His fellow commuters cheered.

      Welcome to Connex, the company that can turn the garrulous into the catatonic, the religious into foul-mouthed sociopaths.

      Apart from the lateness of services, the chewing-gummed filth one has to sit in, there is the lavatories. When the Networker trains were introduced, the company trumpeted that they were vandal-proof. Predictably, Kent's ne'er-do-wells saw this as a challenge and now they are frequently trashed and often unrepaired.

      Eight-coach trains, which are divided into two four-car sections, should have a functioning lavatory in each. That is rarely the case. Sometimes neither works; rarely are they both operational.

      Passengers are advised not to sit anywhere near the WC, invariably the centre of a disagreeable and health-threatening microclimate. On one occasion when I did, the lavatory door suddenly came flying across at me, having been kicked off by a drunk who stuck inside.

      Connex tortures its "customers" by only opening station toilets on platforms that are not receiving home-bound services in the evening. So commuters who go for a drink - especially those fond of beer - can be left in some discomfort because there is no guarantee the train will have one either.

      It would be nice to know where the trains are going. Each locomotive has an electronic sign on the front. Sometimes they are in use, sometimes not. Inside the coaches there are other electronic displays to show which stations the train is stopping at. Sometimes they are operational, sometimes not.

      Drivers are supposed to tell passengers where the services are going. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. This might be to do with the bloody-mindedness of drivers, but it is also the legacy of a recent "human relations" director at Connex whose stated aim was to destroy Aslef, the train drivers' union. The company would have been better off if his mission had been to ensure the drivers provided a decent service.

      Apart from the main London stations - where occasionally a disembodied voice may vouchsafe some information - Connex does not announce the destination of trains in the evenings. On the platforms are electronic signs to show where the next few services are going. But because trains are inevitably late, the sequence of arrivals is changed. The station signs are often some way from where the train stops, so no one is entirely sure where they are going. And during serious delays, passengers are often left to speculate about the cause.

      Sometimes there is violence. I once saw a man being "glassed'' on a train. I pulled the communication lever and the driver spoke to me through an intercom, but it was impossible to tell what he was saying. At last we pulled in to Gravesend - and the two assailants fled. They were never caught.

      A few coaches have CCTV but security staff no longer travel on the worst trains. The only time one sees Connex employees on the train is when they try to catch passengers without tickets. It comes as something of a surprise that one has to pay for the Connex experience.

  • Power lines blamed for widespread chaos - By Paul Peachey - 28 June 2003
    • At http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/transport/story.jsp?story=419708

    • Power lines down, two of Britain's main routes out of operation and services cancelled or delayed for hours yesterday. Yet another day of high blood pressure for the train commuters of Britain. Elsewhere, Connex services seemed to be running without disruption.

      Midland Mainline advised passengers to travel only "if absolutely necessary", Thameslink said its services were "severely disrupted" and GNER said services would not be running normally again until this afternoon. The chaos was caused by the downing of power lines on two of the busiest routes into and out of London, although no rail company or Network Rail could say yesterday why it had happened.

      The result of the problems at Luton, Bedfordshire, and near Grantham, Lincolnshire, was cancellations, a series of shuttle buses and hours of delays for thousands of passengers travelling with five different operating companies.

      Alan Street, 61, left his home in Nottingham yesterday planning to travel to the High Court in London, where he was due at 10.30am. He first went to Nottingham, bought his £121 first-class return ticket and then left the station when he found out the Midland Mainline service would not get him to London on time. He travelled across to Grantham, where he finally made it to a platform and learnt that owing to the problems on GNER's east coast route, he would be going nowhere, apart from back home.

      "The meeting I was hoping to go to was an important one, but not vital," said Mr Street, a semi-retired consumer protection expert and a member of the Rail Passengers' Council. "Had it been vital, I would have gone last night, I simply won't trust the reliability of services for vital meetings."

      Signalling problems had only been cleared up in the Bedford area less than three hours before the new problems in Luton.

      A Network Rail spokesman said: "We apologise for the severe delays passengers have experienced. We will work round the clock to try to sort the problem out."

      There were problems near Newquay, Cornwall, after a vehicle hit a bridge and near Doncaster, South Yorkshire, and Great Malvern, Worcestershire, because of apparent suicide cases.

      As Richard Bowker, chairman of the Strategic Rail Authority, made clear yesterday in his letter to long-suffering customers of Connex South Eastern, which is to lose its franchise: "It is business as usual for train services."

  • Underground History - Disused Stations on London's Underground
    • At http://www.starfury.demon.co.uk/uground/

  • Inquiry ordered over 'bus fare nun' trial
    • At http://www.thisislondon.com/dynamic/news/top_story.html?in_review_id=152877&in_review_text_id=123875

    • "Ministers have ordered an investigation into why a nun who fell asleep on a bus and missed her stop was taken to court over a £1 fare by London Buses."

  • The 100f Tube journey home
    • At http://www.thisislondon.com/dynamic/news/top_story.html?in_review_id=154090&in_review_text_id=124394

  • tube map from the "Have I Got 1997 For You" book
    • At http://www.going-underground.net/funtubemap.html

    • Seven sisters
    • Seven brothers
    • Seven brides
    • Annie get your gun
    • Oklahoma
    • South Pacific
    • Indonesia
    • East Timor (Closed for Massacre)
    • Caution - busker
    • And he's playing an Oasis song
    • Wonderwall
    • Face pressed into armpit of sweaty sewage worker
    • See package
    • Get nervious
    • Thing about metioning it to someone
    • Move quietly to other carriage
    • Pickpocket central

  • Subterranea Britannica: Research Study Group: Sites: Brompton Road
    • At http://www.subbrit.org.uk/rsg/sites/b/brompton_road/

  • Things to do in London
    • At http://www.nutcote.demon.co.uk/london.html

  • An Aussie in London - stories of Australian share house hell in London
    • At http://www.anaussieinlondon.co.uk/

  • About London - An Aussie in London - stories of Australian share house hell in London
    • At http://www.anaussieinlondon.co.uk/london.htm
    • "'London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers of the Empire are irresistibly drained'. In 1887, Arthur Conan Doyle penned those immortal words. "

  • Dust to dust - 04 April 2003
    • At http://argument.independent.co.uk/leading_articles/story.jsp?story=393711

    • Remember the wrong kind of leaves? And after that the wrong kind of snow? You might have thought that we had already reached the reductio ad absurdam when it comes to unbelievable excuses for delays on the railways. But no. Yesterday London Transport announced that the Central Line was to reopen after being out of service for nearly 10 weeks. (Residents of the metropolis prepare yourselves to weep, and the rest of you wipe that smug grin off your faces: this line every week carries more passengers that all the national rail network put together. Or it is supposed to.)

      Well it came back all right. For just 41 minutes, before being closed again because of a fire alert, a defective train and ... wait for it ... the wrong kind of dust on the platforms. You couldn't make it up.

  • London Black Cabs
    • At http://www.londonblackcabs.co.uk/
    • 07957 696673

  • Thetrainline.com - best place to buy cheap UK rail tickets
    • At https://www.thetrainline.com

  • UK National Rail Network
    • At http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/
    • UK National Rail Network railcards (Network Railcard for "Anyone aged 16 and over who wants to travel by train around London and the South East area".): (May need passport style photo when applying - as well as the UKP 20.00) : http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/railcards/fs_railcards.htm
    • Timetables, Fares & Tickets: http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/enquiries/enq.htm

  • From the London Metropolitan Police Service
    • Crime Prevention in London: http://www.met.police.uk/crimeprevention/index.htm

    • London Streetwise Guide to Safety on the Street: http://www.met.police.uk/youth/street_safety.htm
      • What should I do when I am walking on my own?
      • How do I stay safe on trains and buses?
      • Are Taxi's safe?
      • Travel Tips

    • Extract: Trains and tubes

      Carriages on trains

      Go into open ones, where people can walk through, rather than closed compartments. Older British Rail trains have closed compartment carriages marked with a red line on the side above the windows. Avoid these if you are on your own. There will be open-style carriages somewhere else on the train. Look for a carriage with several other passengers in it, preferably not all in the same group: it's always safer to have a mix of people around you.

      On the Tube (The London Underground)

      Go into the front or middle carriages. They are less likely to empty suddenly. Try to choose a carriage which will stop near the exit at the station you are travelling to.

      Pickpockets

      They like stations and trains, where people are often in a hurry and slightly careless of their possessions. Keep your valuables secure on you - wallets and purses in inside pockets; bags carried forward, with your hand on them.

      If you have a heavy bag or box, don't dump it several feet away from you. It will get in the way of other people and may cause an accident. Also, you run a greater risk of having it stolen - it only takes seconds to snatch something when the train stops at a station.

      Put big or heavy items on the rack above your head (if there's room) or on an empty seat, where you can keep an eye on them.

      Rush hours and peak times

      When it's crowded and you have to stand, try and find yourself a strap or partition to hold onto, to save getting thrown about.

      Be especially careful when you are joining a tube or train from a crowded platform. Also take extra care when getting off crowded trains. Look before you step and "mind the gap".

      If you are in a crowd and someone is touching you or rubbing against you in a way you don't like, don't put up with it. Either tell them to move back a little or, if you can't face it or aren't sure who's doing it, stick your elbows out to create some more space for yourself. As soon as you can, move to a different part of the carriage. Even in a thick crowd, if you keep saying "excuse me" politely but determinedly, people will make way for you. If you are frightened, TELL someone immediately. Choose a family group rather than a single person, and ask if you can stay with them until you feel safe. And ALWAYS report this kind of thing to the police - even if your information is vague, it will still be useful.

      Emergency handles

      Notice them. They are marked out in red. If the nearest one is too high, look for another one nearby which you can reach by climbing on a seat. Tubes have pull down handles and push buttons. Some BR trains have emergency chains to pull rather than handles. They all have the same effect.

      If you find yourself alone in a carriage with people who frighten you, get next to the emergency handle/button/chain, stand straight and let them see you're prepared to use it if there's trouble. Don't be afraid of changing carriages when the train gets in to the next station, if it makes you feel more comfortable.

      Platforms on British Rail

      If the platform is empty or there are people on it who make you uncomfortable, you can usually stay near the ticket office, or the ticket collector, until the train appears.

      Underground platforms

      Usually near escalators, stairs or lifts, where people will be coming and going. If someone on the platform makes you anxious, go to wherever there are people around who make you feel safe. It's better to miss a tube and get the next one than put yourself at risk.

      Always stay in well-lit areas. Many tube station platforms now have Help Points with both emergency and information buttons which you can push. Many also have public telephones.

  • Streetmap.co.uk - London and UK On-line maps
    • At http://www.streetmap.co.uk

  • Friday. Rush-hour. On the Tube. Now tell me public services are improving By Steve Richards : 03 February 2002
    • At http://argument.independent.co.uk/regular_columnists/steve_richards/story.jsp?story=117912

    • "The Government is in danger of believing its own propaganda. With a new zeal ministers are proclaiming improvements in public services and, more ominously, are reluctant to hear about examples of failure. Let's talk about the good times they protest. Don't mention a dodgy hospital, let alone a crumbling train.

      This new form of self-censorship, or what one minister describes euphemistically as "anecdotal selectiveness", arises from a fear that soon nobody will have any faith in public services and will look to the privatising Tories for salvation."

    • "This is how grim it is. Last Friday the northern part of the Piccadilly Underground line in London was suddenly closed down at the height of the rush hour. Passengers were heading for work, meetings and the airport (the line goes to Heathrow). I was one of them. Here is reportage from the front line.

      For 10 minutes there was no information at all about the delay. Finally a packed Tube headed off for two stops. Then there was another delay. After several more minutes there was not one explanation but three. That is how it goes with explanations: you wait and then three come along at the same time. One announcement blamed a defective train down the line, another suggested smoke in a tunnel, and from another crackly loudspeaker came news of a station closure. What none of the conflicting announcements could convey was the likely length of the delay.

      Another 15 minutes later we were all turned out beneath the grey, wet skies of Wood Green. The queues for the buses stretched for hundreds of yards. People were desperate. Planes were being missed and working days ruined. Windswept passengers were banging on the rain-splattered windows of buses pleading to be squeezed on, although those who were already on board looked as if they were about to expire. None of the buses was moving because of gridlock on the high road. Perhaps people had heard there were no Tubes and had taken to their cars. More likely, a growing number of people can no longer trust public transport, and therefore have no choice but to drive.

      No doubt the extraction of a single anecdote will bring forth the Government response that this is what Iain Duncan Smith did with the NHS. He used one misleadingly emotive example to make a wider point. But there is no doubt that this example does make a wider point. The state of the Underground, and indeed the overground trains, is not a trivial matter. The unreliability, high fares and overcrowding together amount to a national emergency and should be treated with the same urgency as the outbreak of foot and mouth. After all, three-and-a-half million people use the Underground every day."

    • "Before we were all ejected from our stationary Tube the woman next to me said she had arrived from West Africa 25 years ago and had been amazed how well services in England worked. "Nothing works any more ... Now we have the same services as my country without the good weather," she observed calmly as we headed up the escalators for what looked like a war zone.

      Mr Blair is heading for her country of origin this week. I am not one of those who believes a prime minister should be more or less banned from leaving this island, but I hope he does not offer his hosts any advice about how to run a transport system. "

  • Furious ministers to strip rail chiefs of power
    • At http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/transport/story.jsp?story=478189

    • By Barrie Clement, Transport Editor - 05 January 2004

      Rail bosses are to be stripped of much of their power by ministers, who believe the ramshackle network is running out of control, The Independent has learnt.

      The decision will concentrate power in the hands of Alistair Darling, the Secretary of State for Transport, and represents a dramatic stage in the "creeping nationalisation" of the industry which was privatised in 1995. Mr Darling is planning to extend his control by taking power from the Strategic Rail Authority, the semi-independent body which receives billions of pounds of taxpayers' money but has failed to enhance performance, relegating it to the same status as the Transport Department's Highways Agency. It will have fewer resources, less power and more accountability to the Government and parliament.

      The move follows what was in effect the renationalisation of Railtrack, the infrastructure company replaced last year by the state-backed Network Rail. Mr Darling's decision reflects his dissatisfaction with the style and performance of the authority's chairman, Richard Bowker.

      He may be forced to resign because of the humiliating nature of the initiative, but ministers are determined to press ahead with a fundamental shake-up in a desperate attempt to turn the industry round before the next election.

      The SRA has been banned from issuing its annual strategy document. Drafts have been dismissed by ministers as a "wish list" which only show up the failings of the industry. The present semi-independent structure, over which the SRA presides, was denounced last night by a senior industry source as "a massive waste of public money".

      The SRA's spending is understood to be running £200m ahead of its budget. That comes on top of the industry's £2bn deficit registered last year. Apart from the network's reputation as a multibillion-pound black hole, the authority has gained a reputation for extravagance. The SRA employs 500 staff and spends £140m on office costs, including £50m a year on consultants. Mr Bowker, whose authoritarian style has angered senior colleagues, is also seen as a "bringer of bad news".

      In a recent meeting in Whitehall, Mr Darling reacted angrily when the SRA chief told him it would take 25 years to recoup the costs of ERTMS, a full protection system for stopping trains going through red lights. The bluntness of the SRA chairman, a former senior director at Virgin Trains, is viewed in Whitehall as political ineptitude.

      The SRA's colourful communications chief Ceri Evans has also angered Mr Darling. Mr Evans came to the minister's notice when he called Lord Berkeley, head of the Rail Freight Group, a "f***ing dilettante" in a voice-mail message. Then he told The Independent that the Rail Regulator, Tom Winsor, was little more than a supermarket price-checker. More recently, he said Mr Winsor's decision to allow Network Rail an extra £7.4bn to maintain the system, was like giving "whisky to an alcoholic". The regulator's decision had been endorsed by Mr Darling, who was reportedly "furious".

      But it has been the industry's ability to spend massive and increasing state subventions, and the dire performance of train operators that have been the key motivators for the new approach. Despite an increase in spending, punctuality had failed to improve and, in the case of inter-city services, had deteriorated. The Department for Transport had also become concerned that the SRA was getting "too big for its boots" by trying to assert control over Network Rail and the much-delayed West Coast Main Line project.

      The industry's reputation for financial incompetence was reinforced on Friday when Network Rail failed to pay its 15,000 employees amid rumours that the organisation had gone bust. A spokesman said that the company responsible for making the payments had failed to take into account that last Thursday was a bank holiday.

  • Unhappy new year for commuters with fare rises and delays - 05 January 2004
    • At http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/transport/story.jsp?story=478187

    • By Danielle Demetriou - 05 January 2004

      Thousands of commuters returning to work today after the Christmas break face a miserable journey, with a series of major roadworks, a 25 per cent rise in some Tube fares and a hike in the cost of train journeys making the resumption of the daily grind more painful than usual.

      On the roads, long-term lane-widening work is expected to start this morning on the busiest section of Britain's most-congested motorway, the M25. The work is scheduled to take place on the western section of the London orbital road, including Heathrow and the junction with the M4.

      The M62 in West Yorkshire, between junctions 32 and 33 is undergoing bridge maintenance, resulting in a 50 mph speed limit. Work on the A1 at Newark-on-Trent, Nottinghamshire, is expected to resume today.

      There will be further rush-hour delays between junctions 19 and 20 of the M5 near Bristol, due to lane closures. Resurfacing work is scheduled in Greater Manchester on the M58 at the M6 interchange,

      "The first day back after the Christmas break is traditionally the busiest day of the year for breakdowns," said Nigel Paget, the director of roadside operations at the RAC.

      "Monday 6 January 2003, was our 17th busiest day in the last 10 years with 15,000 breakdowns and [today] is likely to be just as busy."

      For many, the alternative of using public transport will be no more appetising. Despite the fact that one in five trains continues to fail to run on time, commuter fares will rise today by well above rate of inflation. While the average ticket price will rise by 4.1 per cent, some fares will increase by as much as 9 per cent.

      The increases were described as essential by train companies in order to carry out much-needed improvements but were condemned by passenger organisations as an unsavoury legacy of privatisation.

      "Rail commuters will have to pay more for the privilege of travelling to and from work with a one in five chance of being late, thanks to the workings of the privatised rail system," said Cynthia Hay, spokeswoman for the London pressure group Capital Transport Campaign.

      Caroline Jones, of the Rail Passengers' Council, added: "Passengers are not happy with performance, they're not happy with the state of trains and they're not happy with the cost of their tickets."

      Commuters using the London Underground for the first time since the festive break also face a significant price hike.

      Single tickets in zone 1 increase from £1.60 to £2, while bus fares in outer zones rise from 70p to £1 for cash-paying customers.

      The new fares were justified by Ken Livingstone, the London Mayor, as a way of encouraging people to use pre-paid tickets, which will help cut queues at Tube stations and speed up bus journeys.

      The only passengers exempt from the new prices are those with an Oyster smartcard, which has a pre-pay facility and enables passengers to travel at 2003 prices.

      The rises were announced after a £64m shortfall was found in the Mayor's transport budget, caused by revenue from the congestion-charging scheme being lower than anticipated.

  ---

      Some (alledgede) actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have 
      made to their passengers:
  
  "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know
  you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to
  my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in
  the opposite direction".
  
  "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B
  syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any
  further information as soon as I'm given any."
  
  "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last
  Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news
  is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham,
  which means we probably won't reach our destination."
  
  "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security
  alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable
  future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All
  together now ... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall ...'".
  
  "We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is
  closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell
  you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".
  
  "Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these
  professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a
  registered charity, failing that, give it to me."
  
  During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in
  a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman.
  Unfortunately towels are not provided".
  
  "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause ...) "Oh go on then, stuff
  yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home ..."
  
  "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold
  the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."
  
  "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors
  are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the
  doors."
  
  "We can't move off because some idiot has their ****** hand stuck in the door"
  
  "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second
  carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"
  
  "Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause ..) Please move ALL
  belongings away from the doors (Pause ...) This is a personal message to the
  man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train - put the pie
  down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I
  come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways"
  
  "May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any
  part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair
  that you pass it round the rest of the carriage".
  
  "the next train is arriving from another dimension"
  

  • British universities attracting China's best and brightest
    • At http://education.independent.co.uk/news/story.jsp?story=468268

    • From the students' point of view, it is a chance to learn and live in a culture far removed from their previous experience.

      First impressions among the Chinese students are that the streets are safer in their homeland - many would be reluctant to walk home after a night out in the UK.

      Christine Zhang, 20, who has adopted a Western name since coming to the UK, is studying finance and accounting management. "I have a part-time job in a French restaurant and do go back home at 2am," she said.

      "Sometimes you will meet some drunk people but they don't attack you. I do walk but that is because my home is near. If it wasn't I wouldn't."

Cinemas and Movies in London

• Prince Charles Cinema - near Leicester Square, London
  • At http://www.princecharlescinema.com/

  • Date: Tue, 23 Jul 2002 12:12:16 +0100
    From: The One who can be named
    To: Lachlan Cranswick [l.m.d.cranswick@dl.ac.uk]
    Subject: links
    
    
    Can't believe you havent heard of this, maybe you are just forgetting??
    http://www.princecharlescinema.com/
    
    Its not the biggest/poshest place, but cheap. I think they refurbished in
    2001 anyway, and i havent been recently.
    
    Mondays: 2 quid all day. Same for weekday matinee. Evening+weekend is
    3.50, tho if you are a member (5 quid) then you get a quid off all those.
    You have to look at the listings regularly to see whats on, sometimes new
    stuff, sometimes weird arty stuff.
    

English / UK TV Licensing

• UK TV Licensing information website
  • At http://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/

  • At http://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/licence/licence.html

  • "When visiting your home our officers will always show their identity cards. For your own safety you can confirm an officer's identity by contacting the TV Licensing hotline on 08457 77 55 44. If you admit that you are using a television without the right licence or if we suspect that you are, our staff can and will ask to interview you according to the rules of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984. Should we decide to take further action, we will follow the Crown Prosecutor's Guidelines, taking into account your circumstances."

  • If you are not there at the time, they may leave something like this on your door.

If you are not using an existing TV in England / UK

Subject: Enquiry TVL Reference No : XXXXX
From: "tvlcsc@postoffice.co.uk" [tvlcsc@postoffice.co.uk]
Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 11:34:10 +0100
To: "lachlan@ldeo.columbia.edu" [lachlan@ldeo.columbia.edu]

Dear Lachlan

Thank you for your enquiry.

You do not need a television licence is you are not using a television 
to receive or record television programme services.  Removing the aerial 
would be sufficient.

I must inform you that an Enquiry Officer will visit your property in 
due course to confirm the situation.  We also send enquiry letters at 
regular intervals to addresses where we do not have a record of a 
current licence, and you may be contacted in this way in future.

I hope this clarifies the situation for you.

Regards

[Agent Friendly and Helpful]

Customer Services

Police, Street Safety and Tube Safety in London

• London MET Police, Kensington and Chelsea
  • At http://www.met.police.uk/kensingtonandchelsea/index.htm
  • At http://www.met.police.uk/kensingtonandchelsea/contacts.htm

  • Kensington Police Station (Open 24 hours a day)
    72-74 Earls Court Road
    Kensington
    London
    W8 6EQ
    Tel: 020 7376 1212

  • Finding your local police force: http://www.online.police.uk/english/when_to_use.asp | http://www.online.police.uk/english/link.asp?url=www.police.uk

  • Data protection & subject access (Criminal Records Name Check): http://www.met.police.uk/contact/other.htm#sa
    • Data protection and Subject access - General Explanation: http://www.met.police.uk/dataprotection/index.htm
    • Data protection and Subject access - Subject access forms: http://www.met.police.uk/dataprotection/forms.htm

Scams, theft methods, etc

• Travel Safety
  • 'That which does not kill me makes me stronger' - Nietzsche
  • "Adversity: That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable." - despair.com
  • Travel Safety - 1 : http://www.bugbog.com/travel_safety/travel_safety.html
  • Travel Safety - Robbery Stories 1 : http://www.bugbog.com/travel_safety/travel_safety_3.html
  • Travel Safety - Robbery Stories 2 : http://www.bugbog.com/travel_safety/travel_safety_4.html
  • Travel Safety - 1 : http://www.bugbog.com/travel_safety/travel_safety_2.html

• crime in Victorian London (Conan Doyle) ("that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained" (A Study in Scarlet)) : http://www.angelfire.com/ks/landzastanza/crime.html -

• ATM Theft - Chain Letter - Lebanese Loop
  • "The latest ATM scam involves thieves putting a thin, clear, rigid plastic 'sleeve' into the ATM card slot."
  • At http://www.sophos.com/virusinfo/hoaxes/atmtheft.html
  • Cashpoint of No Return (Claim: ATM cards and PINs can be stolen through a technique known as the "Lebanese loop." : Status: True. ) http://www.snopes2.com/inboxer/scams/atmtheft.htm

• University of London website: Is London Safe? - Some Hints and Statistics
  • At http://www.lon.ac.uk/accom/site3/Postcodes/area.htm

  • Extract: "One of the most common questions that is asked by students about an area is "Is it safe?". This, however, is a difficult question to answer."

  • Extract: However, again this list though could give you the impression that London is a dangerous place. It is worth remembering that London is one of the safest capital cities in the world.In addtion crimes against property are four times more frequent than violent crime against the individual.
    However, this does not mean that you should be complacent. You can reduce your chances of becoming a victim of crime by taking a few sensible precautions. The Metropolitan Police carries useful advice about being "Streetwise".

• 'Why I was a mugger' - BBC News - Monday, 15 April, 2002
  • http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/audiovideo/programmes/4x4_reports/newsid_1924000/1924176.stm

  • While advising potential victims on how to avoid being robbed he offered an insight into how a mugger thinks.

    "Have they noticed you behind them? Do you know where their money is?"

  • Martin's safety tips at a cash point
    • Never leave your receipt in the till - it shows how much money you have
    • Put your money away immediately - it's easy to snatch in seconds

  • Martin's safety tips on mobile phones
    • You're an easy target when chatting or texting on the street
    • Musical ring tones make your phone more visible
    • A sophisticated ring tone means a higher sell-on price

  • Martin's street safety tips
    • Never walk around with your purse in your hand - it's easy to snatch
    • Never put your wallet in your back pocket

  • Shopping centres
    • Beware of security camera blindspots
    • Try not to flash your cash too much

• From the London Metropolitan Police Service
  • Crime Prevention in London: http://www.met.police.uk/crimeprevention/index.htm

  • London Streetwise Guide to Safety on the Street: http://www.met.police.uk/youth/street_safety.htm
    • What should I do when I am walking on my own?
    • How do I stay safe on trains and buses?
    • Are Taxi's safe?
    • Travel Tips

• Extract: Safety on the street

  Here are some Streetwise tips for going places easily and safely . . .

  Look confident. Walk with your head up, as if you know where you are going. Keep your hands free - don't walk about with them in your pockets.

  Stay alert. Leave your personal stereos off - they stop you being aware of what's going on around you.

  Keep to well-used roads. Don't use alleyways or short cuts.

  Walk against the flow of traffic, to avoid kerb crawlers.

  In the dark, always stick to well-lit areas.

  If you think you are being followed, cross the road.

  If the person follows you, cross it again. If you are still worried, go at once to a place where there are lots of people, such as a busy shop, and tell someone what's going on. If you can, choose a police officer; if not, go to a family group rather than a single adult and tell them. Always report this kind of thing to the police, even if it's now over. You won't be wasting police time.

  Carry a torch or a whistle, or better still, a very noisy screech or shrill alarm. They are not expensive and if you carry a personal alarm, you will feel more confident.

  If you start to be frightened, try not to panic. Always try to think around situations.

  ---

• Extract: Trains and tubes

  Carriages on trains

  Go into open ones, where people can walk through, rather than closed compartments. Older British Rail trains have closed compartment carriages marked with a red line on the side above the windows. Avoid these if you are on your own. There will be open-style carriages somewhere else on the train. Look for a carriage with several other passengers in it, preferably not all in the same group: it's always safer to have a mix of people around you.

  On the Tube (The London Underground)

  Go into the front or middle carriages. They are less likely to empty suddenly. Try to choose a carriage which will stop near the exit at the station you are travelling to.

  Pickpockets

  They like stations and trains, where people are often in a hurry and slightly careless of their possessions. Keep your valuables secure on you - wallets and purses in inside pockets; bags carried forward, with your hand on them.

  If you have a heavy bag or box, don't dump it several feet away from you. It will get in the way of other people and may cause an accident. Also, you run a greater risk of having it stolen - it only takes seconds to snatch something when the train stops at a station.

  Put big or heavy items on the rack above your head (if there's room) or on an empty seat, where you can keep an eye on them.

  Rush hours and peak times

  When it's crowded and you have to stand, try and find yourself a strap or partition to hold onto, to save getting thrown about.

  Be especially careful when you are joining a tube or train from a crowded platform. Also take extra care when getting off crowded trains. Look before you step and "mind the gap".

  If you are in a crowd and someone is touching you or rubbing against you in a way you don't like, don't put up with it. Either tell them to move back a little or, if you can't face it or aren't sure who's doing it, stick your elbows out to create some more space for yourself. As soon as you can, move to a different part of the carriage. Even in a thick crowd, if you keep saying "excuse me" politely but determinedly, people will make way for you. If you are frightened, TELL someone immediately. Choose a family group rather than a single person, and ask if you can stay with them until you feel safe. And ALWAYS report this kind of thing to the police - even if your information is vague, it will still be useful.

  Emergency handles

  Notice them. They are marked out in red. If the nearest one is too high, look for another one nearby which you can reach by climbing on a seat. Tubes have pull down handles and push buttons. Some BR trains have emergency chains to pull rather than handles. They all have the same effect.

  If you find yourself alone in a carriage with people who frighten you, get next to the emergency handle/button/chain, stand straight and let them see you're prepared to use it if there's trouble. Don't be afraid of changing carriages when the train gets in to the next station, if it makes you feel more comfortable.

  Platforms on British Rail

  If the platform is empty or there are people on it who make you uncomfortable, you can usually stay near the ticket office, or the ticket collector, until the train appears.

  Underground platforms

  Usually near escalators, stairs or lifts, where people will be coming and going. If someone on the platform makes you anxious, go to wherever there are people around who make you feel safe. It's better to miss a tube and get the next one than put yourself at risk.

  Always stay in well-lit areas. Many tube station platforms now have Help Points with both emergency and information buttons which you can push. Many also have public telephones.

Credit Card and Cash Machine Scams

• ATM Theft - Chain Letter - Lebanese Loop
  • "The latest ATM scam involves thieves putting a thin, clear, rigid plastic 'sleeve' into the ATM card slot."
  • At http://www.sophos.com/virusinfo/hoaxes/atmtheft.html
  • Cashpoint of No Return (Claim: ATM cards and PINs can be stolen through a technique known as the "Lebanese loop." : Status: True. ) http://www.snopes2.com/inboxer/scams/atmtheft.htm

> Sent: 15 April 2002 19:31
> Subject: ATM SCAM
> Importance: High
> 
> 
> 
> Dear  All,  
>  
> 
> For your information, please be advised of the following ATM scam:
>  
> Beware the next time you use an ATM.  Criminals are inventing ever more
> ingenious methods of relieving you of your cash.  The latest scam
> involves thieves putting a thin, clear, rigid plastic 'sleeve' into the 
> ATM card slot. 
> When you insert your card, the machine can't read the strip, so it
> keeps asking you to re-enter your PIN number. 
> 
>  
> 
> Meanwhile, someone behind you watches as you tap in your number.
> Eventually you give up, thinking the 
> machine has swallowed your card and you walk away.
> The thieves then remove the plastic sleeve complete with card, and empty
> your account.  The way to avoid this is to run your finger along the card
> slot before you put your card in. The sleeve has a couple of tiny prongs
> that the thieves need to get the sleeve out of the slot, and you'll be
> able to feel them.
>  
> The police would like as many people as possible to be aware of this
> scam, so pass this on to your friends.
> 
>

UK / London Power, Water and Gas Utilities

• All Electricity Companies Compared - London Area
  • At http://www.ukenergy.dreamwater.com/london2.htm

• London Electricity
  • 24 hour Powerkey Help Line: 0800 015 1733
  • At http://www.london-electricity.co.uk/
  • London Electricity Home user: http://www.london-electricity.co.uk/energy/home/index.html
  • London Electricity Paypoints: http://paypoint.net-city.co.uk/
  • London Electricity: Electricity Only Quotation: http://paypoint.net-city.co.uk/public-quote/elecquote.asp
  • London Electricity: Premier (Gas and Electricity) Prices: http://www.london-electricity.co.uk/energy/home/premier_price_london.html#elec
  • London Electricity: Ways to pay your bill: http://www.london-electricity.co.uk/energy/home/bill_ways.html
  • Powerkey: This is a re-chargeable key for people who want to "pay-as-they-go" for electricity. It makes budgeting for your electricity easy because you pay for your electricity as you use it. The Powerkey meter is easy to use and you can charge your key at any PayPoint site.
  • London Electricity: Paypoint: Where's your local agent?: http://paypoint.net-city.co.uk/paypoint/

  • London Electricity: Moving Home: http://www.london-electricity.co.uk/energy/home/moving.html
  • Change of address - no problem You only need to follow a few simple steps to ensure a smooth move. To change your electricity account details all you have to do is call us on FREEPHONE 0800 096 9000, 9am-5pm, Mon-Fri. Don't forget, if you have a gas account with London Electricity, you can take it with you too.
  • London Electricity: Easy EnergyCard: http://www.london-electricity.co.uk/energy/home/news_00001.html
  • For more details about using an EnergyCard, please call customer services on 0800 096 9000 and ask for a leaflet.

• Thames Water
  • At http://www.thames-water.com/
  • Site-map: http://www.thames-water.com/sitemap.htm
  • Contact info: http://www.thames-water.com/contact.htm
  • "Moving house: Please call us on 0845 9200 888 and we can either"

• British Gas
  • At http://www.gas.co.uk/
  • Gas and Electricity from British Gas: http://www.gas.co.uk/offer/ge/index.html
  • Electricity from British Gas: http://www.gas.co.uk/offer/ge/electricity.html

• If your accommodation place has an Electricity Card Key Meter (Powerkey), be wary that you may not have to do anything official for getting Electricity (a new fangled version of the coin operated Electricity metre):

  Date: Mon, 16 Jul 2001 20:14:51 GMT
  From: [The Big Fromage]
  To: lachlan@ldeo.columbia.edu
  Subject: Re: I possibly understand: Re: A technical query: Re: I'LL TAKE  IT!! Re: Any news on  XXXXX Road?
  
  
  Yes, they are like the cards tested out in Swindon that you charge up at
  the bank and then spend in the shops, i.e. electronic coinage. [I am
  not sure how well the experiment worked in Swindon btw!] So ownership
  is only important between leaving the charge up point (newsagent) and
  spend point (i.e. meter).
  
    At least that is how I understood it.
             [The Big Fromage].
  
  Hence no bills for electricity and no meter readings.
  

• UK Electricity Association
  • At http://www.electricity.org.uk/

• Why Wait for Ever: London Energy and Water
  • At http://www.whywaitforever.com/london/energy.asp
  • London Telephones: http://www.whywaitforever.com/london/phone.asp

• PayPoint UK
  • At http://www.paypoint.co.uk/
  • London Electricity: Paypoint: Where's your local agent?: http://paypoint.net-city.co.uk/paypoint/
  • About PayPoint: http://www.paypoint.co.uk/about/index.htm
  • PayPoint is the UK's leading branded national network for collecting payments 'over the counter'.
  • The range of payments that can be made at PayPoint covers: Electricity; Gas ; Telecoms ; Mobile Phone Top-ups ; Water ; TV Licensing ; Cable ; Local Authority council tax & rents ; Housing Association rents ; Savings Club

People dying of cold in poor quality British housing

• UK Fuel poverty: Case studies
  • At http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_431000/431690.stm
  • "The gap between how much rich and poor people spend on gas and electricity is widening, with many going without to save money.

    The Consumers' Association says seven million people in the UK are spending at least 10% of their income on electricity and gas.

    Their problems are exacerbated by the fact that the poor have been encouraged to pay by pre-payment meters which cost more than other forms of payment."

• Plan to cut deaths in cold homes : The government has launched a 10-year plan to eliminate deaths among pensioners who cannot afford to heat their homes during winter.
  • At http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk_politics/newsid_1185000/1185682.stm
  • "Studies suggest that as many as 50,000 elderly people die in Britain each winter because they cannot afford to turn on the heating."

• Call for action on cold weather deaths : Age Concern says more needs to be done to reduce the number of elderly people who die over the winter period.
  • At http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1113000/1113048.stm
  • ""Last winter 46,000 more people died than died in the summer, and the vast majority of those deaths were older people."

• Pensioners found dead after gas was cut off over £140 bill
  • At http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/story.jsp?story=475706

  • By Arifa Akbar and Jeremy Laurance - 23 December 2003

    The discovery of two pensioners who died weeks after their gas supply was cut off because of an unpaid bill of £140 led a coroner to call for a review of the law yesterday.

    George Bates, 89, and his wife Gertrude, 86, were found on 18 October in the living room of the house they had lived in for 63 years after a neighbour called the police.

    Mr Bates, a retired postman, had died of hypothermia in his armchair and Mrs Bates was lying on the floor having died of a heart attack.

    While the case was being heard, the Faculty of Public Health issued a warning that 2,500 elderly people were expected to die in the week before Christmas, because of the cold. Poor housing, inadequate heating and "fuel poverty" - defined as any household which has to spend more than 10 per cent of its income to keep warm - were the main causes of the excess winter deaths, the faculty said.

    Mr and Mrs Bates were discovered 13 weeks after British Gas disconnected their cooking and heating supplies because they failed to respond to repeated requests for payment. After their deaths, £1,400 in cash was discovered in the house. The couple also had £19,000 in a building society. British Gas told Westminster coroner's court that the company was prevented from informing social services about the disconnection because of the Data Protection Act, which prohibits the disclosure of such information without consent.

    Dr Paul Knapman, the coroner, said that he would contact the Information Commissioner, who