Lachlan passed away in January 2010.  As a memorial, this site remains as he left it.
Therefore the information on this site may not be current or accurate and should not be relied upon.
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Welcome to Lachlan Cranswick's Personal Homepage in Melbourne, Australia

What is the Sad fate of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory, Cheshire, UK? (May 2000)

The lone Gnome of Darebsury Laboratory

(Including flame war on dl.general newsgroup on this topic)

Lachlan's Homepage is at http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au

[Back to Lachlan's Homepage] | [What's New on Lachlan's Page]
[Homepage of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory, Cheshire, UK]
[Sad fate of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory] | [Last Garden Gnome of Daresbury Laboratory Murdered!]
[Where Garden Gnomes Dare! (Gnome Anti Fag Squad (GAFS) memorial)] | [Sacred Soil of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory]
[Further desecration of the Sacred Soil of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory] | [The Gnome Masters of Daresbury Laboratory]

Image

Description

Where the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory Live

This is where the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory live. Click of the image to see an enlarged map.

This was once a Gnome home and garden

This was once as a thriving family of Garden Gnomes near a side entrance to C block.

The lone Gnome of Darebsury Laboratory

Only this lonely Garden Gnome of Daresbury Laboratory remains.

And lots of Cigarette butts

And lots of Cigarette butts.

The Flamewar on dl.general relating to the Gnomes

From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick)
Newsgroups: dl.general
Subject: What has happened to the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury?
Date: Wed, 31 May 2000 19:22:10 LOCAL
Organization: CCP14 Project, Daresbury Laboratory, UK
NNTP-Posting-Date: 31 May 2000 18:21:44 GMT



A "user" who wishes not to be named (no doubt fearing the
retribution of dark forces) has pointed out the
existance of family of Garden Gnomes near a side 
entrance to C block.

Unfortunately, on investigating, there is but a small
fenced plot of brown earth, a rather lonely small garden 
gnome with green hat, some undistinguished Black Medick 
(Medicago lupulina) flowers; and lots of cigarette butts.  

What has happened to the alleged happy family of Daresbury 
gnomes and their happy little garden?  Can anyone out there 
in the realms of dl.general throw light and thoughts upon 
this problem?

I would normally use dl.general as a secure chat line to the
Scott droid with such a query, but he is presently partying
 in Majorca(sp?) and thus out of "secure chat line" range.

Lachlan.


From: "P.F. Schofield" [pfs@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk]
Newsgroups: dl.general
Subject: What has happened to the Users of Daresbury?
Date: Wed, 31 May 2000 20:16:46 +0100
Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, U.K.
Lines: 6
NNTP-Posting-Date: 31 May 2000 19:16:47 GMT


> A "user" who wishes not to be named........

Are all Daresbury users this way inclined?


From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick)
Newsgroups: dl.general
Subject: Re: Gnomes of Daresbury
Date: Wed, 31 May 2000 21:28:49 LOCAL
Organization: CCP14 Project, Daresbury Laboratory, UK
NNTP-Posting-Date: 31 May 2000 20:28:23 GMT


In article [3935651E.4419D040@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk] "P.F. Schofield" 
[pfs@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk] writes:>
>> A "user" who wishes not to be named........

>Are all Daresbury users this way inclined?

Re: Gnomes of Daresbury:

Dave (a user who does not mind being named) thinks the
missing Gnomes have been stolen by people intent
on using them for evil!

Lachlan (and Dave).


From: "P.F. Schofield" [pfs@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk]
Newsgroups: dl.general
Subject: Daresbury Gnome More
Date: Thu, 01 Jun 2000 03:26:46 +0100
Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, U.K.
NNTP-Posting-Date: 1 Jun 2000 02:26:48 GMT


>
> Dave (a user who does not mind being named) thinks the
> missing Gnomes have been stolen by people intent
> on using them for evil!
>

'Dave' probably swallowed them whole the last time he
ate from the temptress Dinah!


Temptress Dinah side issue

From: "P.F. Schofield" [pfs@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk]
Newsgroups: dl.general
Subject: Re: without a trace?
Date: Wed, 31 May 2000 20:12:56 +0100
Organization: Daresbury Laboratory, Warrington, U.K.
NNTP-Posting-Date: 31 May 2000 19:12:57 GMT


> To explain your conumdrum.

>
> Extended daylight hours mean there is less possible lab
> time uncorrupted by the evil influences of raw sunlight.
> Look under that dark rock - I might be there!

No one could possibly fall for this.

First, we all know that Scott disappeared weeks ago and has
been replaced by his somewhat argumentative and bolshy
twin brother.

Secondly, there have been no instances of Fantalessness in
the last few weeks. Indeed, the Coke Machine of shame has
been spitting forth cans of Fanta which are well past
their sell by date.

Third, during the celebration of the Queens birthday, there
was no sighting of Lachlan Cranswick in the Daresbury
Canteen . Clearly the real Lachlan would not have celebrated
with the rest of the Empire.

Finally, a senior member of staff from the RI recently found
a zip, a bar of soap, a borrocks stamp and a Southpark CD
mixed in with the gristle of his Dinahs Burger.


From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick)
Newsgroups: dl.general
Subject: Re: without a trace?
Date: Wed, 31 May 2000 21:52:16 LOCAL
Organization: CCP14 Project, Daresbury Laboratory, UK
NNTP-Posting-Date: 31 May 2000 20:52:00 GMT


In article [39356438.4B84EBC7@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk] "P.F. Schofield" 
[pfs@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk] writes:
>Finally, a senior member of staff from the RI recently found
>a zip, a bar of soap, a borrocks stamp and a Southpark CD
>mixed in with the gristle of his Dinahs Burger.

This is all here-say.  Have you ever eaten from
the machine of mystery that is "Dinahs Kitchen"
burger machine?
If you have not taken the plunge - you are not
worthy to even speak the sacred name of Dinah!

Lachlan.


From: l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick)
Newsgroups: dl.general
Subject: Re: without a trace? - From Dave
Date: Wed, 31 May 2000 21:54:07 LOCAL
Organization: CCP14 Project, Daresbury Laboratory, UK
NNTP-Posting-Date: 31 May 2000 20:53:51 GMT

In article [l.cranswick.522.00E39816@dl.ac.uk] 
l.cranswick@dl.ac.uk (Lachlan Cranswick) writes:
>In article [39356438.4B84EBC7@xrsserv1.dl.ac.uk] "P.F. Schofield" 
> writes:
>>Finally, a senior member of staff from the RI recently found
>>a zip, a bar of soap, a borrocks stamp and a Southpark CD
>>mixed in with the gristle of his Dinahs Burger.

>This is all here-say.  Have you ever eaten from
>the machine of mystery that is "Dinahs Kitchen"
>burger machine?
>If you have not taken the plunge - you are not
>worthy to even speak the sacred name of Dinah!

>Lachlan.

Dave was too slow on me pressing the Post button.

He did want to add that Dinah is a quote: "busty
temptress"

(obviously the words of wisdom of one who has
sampled what Dinah has to offer)

Lachlan.


Links for Garden Gnomes, their enemies, their friends and those that would smote them


[Back to Lachlan's Homepage] | [What's New on Lachlan's Page]
[Homepage of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory, Cheshire, UK]
[Sad fate of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory] | [Last Garden Gnome of Daresbury Laboratory Murdered!]
[Where Garden Gnomes Dare! (Gnome Anti Fag Squad (GAFS) memorial)] | [Sacred Soil of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory]
[Further desecration of the Sacred Soil of the Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory] | [The Gnome Masters of Daresbury Laboratory]

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If you are feeling sociable, my new E-mail address is [address now invalid] (replace the *at* with an @ ) . Old E-mail addresses might be giving forwarding or reliability problems. Please use clear titles in any Email - otherwise messages might accidentally get put in the SPAM list due to large amount of junk Email being received. So, if you don't get an expected reply to any messages, please try again.