Lachlan passed away in January 2010.  As a memorial, this site remains as he left it.
Therefore the information on this site may not be current or accurate and should not be relied upon.
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Welcome to Lachlan Cranswick's Personal Homepage in Melbourne, Australia

Lachlan's London, UK 2002 Web Journal

Flat photos of interest for Rodney - plus Ben, Nikki, Jack and Zog, - from the living rooms of London, UK - 22nd May 2002 - 1 of 1

(Including the Electrolux Micro Lite 1000 Watts vaccuum cleaner of destiny; "Teddy Bear Hot Water Bottle" and "Lady Bug Hot Water Bottle")

Lachlan's Homepage is at http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au

[Intro - CranClan] . . [Happening Things] . . [The Daresbury Laboratory Web Ring of Life] . . [NCS - Non-Competitive Scrabble] . . [Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory] . . [Nature and Local UK Things] . . [USA 2001 and LDEO Columbia University] . . [Historical Literature/Poetry] . . [Music] . . [Misc Things] . . [DL SRS Status] . . [Conference and Travel Things] . . [The Wonders of Team Building] . . [Other People's Homepages] . . [Crystallographic Internet Front] . . [While in Melbourne] . . [Semi Relevant Links]
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London Spring 2002: [1 of 1]

Sequence of Events

Image

Description

The Electrolux Micro Lite 1000 Watts vaccuum cleaner in its preferred environment - deep inside the cupboard - doing its duty by holding the building stairs up Closer in view of The Electrolux Micro Lite 1000 Watts vaccuum cleaner in its preferred environment

  • The Electrolux Micro Lite 1000 Watts vaccuum cleaner in its preferred environment - deep inside the cupboard - doing its duty by holding the entire building stairs up (of which the temporary stair struts are situation directly above the cupboard)
  • Closer in view of The Electrolux Micro Lite 1000 Watts vaccuum cleaner in its preferred environment

3 cards: Life, Death, Tuna Minimum standards: Bogroll is not used as tissue paper here

  • "3 cards": Life, Death, Tuna (here we see the Tuna part of the "3 cards equation")
  • Minimum standards: Unlike the rest of England, bogroll is not used as tissue paper in this abode. Lachlan's advice - when your slum wages cease to support the purchase of soft tissue paper, take it as a subtle hint to quit your London job and flee England. Suggested title of resignation letter: "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

Brochures for free classical concerts and lectures in London, England Minimum standards: Unlike the rest of England, bogroll is only used as bogroll in this abode.

  • Brochures for free classical concerts and lectures in London, England
  • Minimum standards: Unlike the rest of England, bogroll is only used as bogroll in this abode. Lachlan's near identical advice - when your slum wages cease to support the purchase of soft toilet paper, take it as a subtle hint to quit your London job and flee England. Suggested title of resignation letter: "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

With Flash: Teddy Bear Hot Water Bottle and Lady Bug Hot Water Bottle Digital Noir: Teddy Bear Hot Water Bottle and Lady Bug Hot Water Bottle

  • With Flash: In this scene, "Teddy Bear Hot Water Bottle" and "Lady Bug Hot Water Bottle" wait patiently until Winter where this humble scribe will be relying on their life saving hot water powered powers.
  • Digital Noir: "Teddy Bear Hot Water Bottle" and "Lady Bug Hot Water Bottle" (As provided by hunter gatherer Nikki and "Jack")

Traditional hot water bottle as a third line of defence against the London Winter Part of the mice mine-field free-fire-zone

  • Traditional hot water bottle as a third line of defence against the London Winter
  • Part of the mice mine-field free-fire-zone

Chemical warfare powder against cockroaches Night scope view of Chemical warfare powder against cockroaches

  • Chemical warfare powder against cockroaches
  • Night scope view of Chemical warfare powder against cockroaches

The decommissioned TV with note in preparation of the UK TV Licencing SS Storm Troopers (a.k.a. uber field services inspectors) Alternatives to the idiot box

  • The decommissioned TV with note: part of defence preparations against the UK TV Licencing SS Storm Troopers (a.k.a. uber field services inspectors)
  • Alternatives to the idiot box. (as noted before, George Orwell's "Nineteen Eighty-Four" is a good reference for those living in the "Futile City" as it is also set in London). An extract of Winston Smith's thoughts on the subject of living in London:

    "The fabulous statistics continued to pour out of the telescreen. As compared with last year there was more food, more clothes, more houses, more furniture, more cooking-pots, more fuel, more ships, more helecopters, more books, more babies - more of everything except disease, crime and insanity. Year by year and minute by minute, everybody and everything was whizzing rapidly upwards." . . . but . . . "Always in your stomach and in your skin there was a sort of protest, a feeling that you had been cheated of something that you had a right to. It was true that he had no memories of anything greatly different. In any time that he could accurately remember, there had never been quite enough to eat, one had never had socks or underclothes that were not full of holes, furniture had always been battered and rickity, rooms underheated, tube trains crowded, houses falling to pieces, bread dark-coloured, tea a rarity, coffee filthy-tasting, cigarettes insufficient - nothing cheap and plentiful except synthetic gin. And though, of course, it grew worse as one's body aged, was it not a sign that this was not the natural order of things, if one's heart sickened at the discomfort and dirt and scarcity, the interminable winters, the stickiness of one's socks, the lifts that never worked, the cold water, the gritty soap, the cigarettes that came to pieces, the food with its strange evil tastes? Why should one feel it to be interolerable unless one had some kind of ancestral memory that things had once been different?".

As tracked down by hunter-gather Nikki in Melbourne, the sheep-skin slippers are a major asset in the unheated flats and living places of the Futile City of London A duck's head umbrella is essential at all times in the Futile City

  • As tracked down by hunter-gather Nikki in Melbourne, the sheep-skin slippers are a major asset in the unheated flats and living places of the Futile City of London.
  • The Futile City of London is not only very futile - it often, at little to no notice, combines very wet with very futile. Thus a duck's head umbrella is essential at all times for those of the Futile City.

What stories of the Futile City could he quack of?

  • What stories of the Futile City could he quack of?

Poetry Links and stuff

Past and Present / I Remember, I Remember
(Thomas Hood, 1799-1845)

I remember, I remember
The house where I was born,
The little window where the sun
Came peeping in at morn;
He never came a wink too soon
Nor bought too long a day;
But now, I often wish the night
Had borne my breath away.

I remember, I remember
The roses, red and white,
The violets, and the lily-cups--
Those flowers made of light!
The lilacs where the robin built,
And where my brother set
The laburnum on his birthday,--
The tree is living yet!

I remember, I remember
Where I was used to swing,
And throught the air must rush as fresh
To swallows on the wing;
My spirit flew in feathers then
That is so heavy now,
And summer pools could hardly cool
The fever on my brow.

I remember, I remember
The fir frees dark and high;
I used to think their slender tops
Were close against the sky:
It was a childish ignorance,
But now 'tis little joy
To know I'm farther off from Heaven
Than when I was a boy.

Upon Westminster Bridge
(Sept. 3, 1802)
(William Wordsworth, 1770-1850)

Earth has not anything to show more fair:
Dull would he be of soul who could pass by
A sight so touching in its majesty:
This City now doth like a garment wear

The beauty of the morning: silent, bare,
Skips, towers, domes, theatres, and temples lie
Open unto the fields, and to the sky,
All bright and glittering in the smokeless air.

Never did sun more beatifully steep
In his first splendour valley, rock or hill;
Ne'er saw I, never felt, a calm so deep!

The river glideth at this own sweet will:
Dear God! the very houses seem asleep;
And all that mighty heart is lying still!

London, MDCCCII
(William Wordsworth, 1770-1850)

O friend! I know not which way I must look
For comfort, being as I am, opprest
to think that now our life is only drest
For show; mean handiwork of craftsman, cook,

Or groom! - We must run glittering like a brook
In the open sunshine, or we are unblest;
The wealthiest man among us is the best:
No grandeur now in Nature or in book

Delights us. Rapine, avarice, expense,
This is idolatry; and these we adore:
Plain living and high thinking are no more:

The homely beauty of the good old cause
Is gone; our peace, our fearful innocence,
And pure religion breathing household laws.

London
(William Blake, 1757-1827)

I wandered through each chartered street,
Near where the chartered Thames does flow,
A mark in every face I meet,
Marks of weakness, marks of woe.

In every cry of every man,
In every infant's cry of fear,
In every voice, in every ban,
The mind-forged manacles I hear:

How the chimney-sweeper's cry
Every blackening church appals,
And the hapless soldier's sigh
Runs in blood down palace-walls.

But most, through midnight streets I hear
How the youthful harlot's curse
Blasts the new-born infant's tear,
And blights with plagues the marriage-hearse.


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[Index to Lachlan's London, UK 2001 Web Journal] | [Index to Lachlan's London, UK 2002 Web Journal]
London Spring 2002: [1 of 1]

[Intro - CranClan] . . [Happening Things] . . [The Daresbury Laboratory Web Ring of Life] . . [NCS - Non-Competitive Scrabble] . . [Garden Gnomes of Daresbury Laboratory] . . [Nature and Local UK Things] . . [USA 2001 and LDEO Columbia University] . . [Historical Literature/Poetry] . . [Music] . . [Misc Things] . . [DL SRS Status] . . [Conference and Travel Things] . . [The Wonders of Team Building] . . [Other People's Homepages] . . [Crystallographic Internet Front] . . [While in Melbourne] . . [Semi Relevant Links]
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If you are feeling sociable, my new E-mail address is [address now invalid] (replace the *at* with an @ ) . Old E-mail addresses might be giving forwarding or reliability problems. Please use clear titles in any Email - otherwise messages might accidentally get put in the SPAM list due to large amount of junk Email being received. So, if you don't get an expected reply to any messages, please try again.